IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study in the same city, whereas, in other countries they live away from home while they study in another city. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

There are two types of situations here for
students
Use synonyms
:
ones
Check wording
those who
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 live in the same
city
Use synonyms
 as their university
located
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
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 to live far away from their home and relatives to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their
educational place
Check wording
university
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. And here's pop up's the question, "
would
Fix capitalization
Would
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 it be better to live in another
city
Use synonyms
 for studying?". And I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
, and wish to explain why.
Firstly
Linking Words
, living so far away from your home develops your independence, as it was expected. And only
this
Linking Words
 advantage is already wealthy, because every
person
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 world
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to know how to survive here, how to provide yourself enough resources for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 prosperous
life
Use synonyms
 and not be
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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 on someone.
The another
Correct determiner usage
Another
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 benefit of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 circumstances is the new environment that
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
the person
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 has to get used to as well. It's great, since we live in a really enormous world, and every
person
Use synonyms
 should see a different places
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our planet
as more
Rephrase
apply
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as he or she can. The third plus of
this
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 affair is new acquaintances and interesting places of exactly
this
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
. It's better to
met
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
, because some of them may become your best friends for the entire
life
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
! And that's truly great to visit some famous places of the
city
Use synonyms
 that you have to live in for a very long
term
Check wording
time
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, it may be some historical museums or statues
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as just popular
restoraunts
Correct your spelling
restaurants
. And what comes down to the negative side of
this
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 situation, the first one is the most upsetting -
rarer
Correct article usage
a rarer
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 visit to your parents and relatives in general. It's harder when u can't see your close
people
Use synonyms
 that often as before, and that's really terrible when you are in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new place, even worse -
Correct article usage
a new
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new
Punctuation problem
new,
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 unknown
city
Use synonyms
 without any familiar faces. You just have to deal with all your problems all alone, at least for the first time, but even
so
Add a comma
so,
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 it's still very hard. The
person
Use synonyms
experience
Correct subject-verb agreement
experiences
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 a lack of communication
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 that's depressing, since every human being and just any living creature needs someone to talk to, to be close and comfortable with. And many
students
Use synonyms
 are not fully grown persons, they are still childish sometimes and seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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parents
Check wording
parents'
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 support, so living that far from them makes some young
people
Use synonyms
 miserable. The next hard condition is having to pay for the
inhabitation
Check wording
accommodation
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 and products. Not every family can afford these because of
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 financial status, so some
students
Use synonyms
 even work
while
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study
Replace the word
studying
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 just to have the right to live there.
This
Linking Words
 presses young
people
Use synonyms
 even more, and can lead
some
Change preposition
to some
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 serious problems with their mental health,
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 that's really dangerous. In conclusion, I want to say that
life
Use synonyms
 is not a peaceful place to experience
,
Punctuation problem
;
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there's
Verb problem
there are
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 a lot of troubles here. Every
person
Use synonyms
 lives their own story, and none of them can be
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 without any obstacles. Everyone is going through their own difficulties, and
that's
Verb problem
that
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 makes them stronger in the end.
Accordingly
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, the
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student's life
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life
Use synonyms
's is one of the hardest periods of
human's
Correct article usage
a human's
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 path, and if
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to face a lot of troubles for their studies and
therefore
Linking Words
 their better future
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 it's worth it.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that states your view. Then give three strong ideas with small facts or examples. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
language
Use simple, short sentences. Check spelling and grammar. Use and, but, so to show links.
content
Give more real examples from life or study to back your points. Try to connect ideas better so the essay flows.
content
You show a clear view in favour of living away.
content
There are several big ideas like independence and new friends.
overall
You effort of many ideas is clear.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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