IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Social
media
Use synonyms
 is becoming greater than
attention
Use synonyms
 spans for many
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 at
this
Linking Words
 moment, as most
Use synonyms
pepole prefere advirtising
Correct your spelling
people prefer advertising
 to a larger number of the population than just
post
Wrong verb form
posting on
show examples
 a
attention
Use synonyms
 span in
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
where
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fewer
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 might see it. I do agree that most
pepole
Use synonyms
 spend much time on social
media
Use synonyms
 regaredless of there age as teenage
pepole
Use synonyms
 nowdays have public accouts acssessing the social
media
Use synonyms
 not like in the past,
this
Linking Words
 idea could help
such
Linking Words
 compenys in their advirtising campaings providing the popoulation with new products, new places openings
such
Linking Words
 as resturants, cafes, shopping malls, etc.. and traveling holidays including packages they can get with great offers,
also
Linking Words
pepole
Use synonyms
 that do not go out often have a better chance seeing the advirtise on social
media
Use synonyms
 rather than seeing it on a
attention
Use synonyms
 spans. problem i see from my point of view in
attention
Use synonyms
 spans is that it getting older and older
while
Linking Words
 there is a much greater oppertinutes in social
media
Use synonyms
 with just a click of a button and it has lots of creative ideas in advertising than
attention
Use synonyms
 spans, as soical
media
Use synonyms
 influncers with great personalitys can affect
pepole
Use synonyms
 in good way where they can deliver a message through a good comminucation methods, as it depends on the person itself, and
also
Linking Words
 one influncer can bring multiple advirtising subjects at which they have expierenced and be honest about which can help
pepole
Use synonyms
 trust in them and to what they advirtising about, and for that I agree with the idea of social
media
Use synonyms
 been a greater than
attention
Use synonyms
 spans.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State a clear view on the topic in the first line.
structure
Plan your text. Use an intro, 2 body parts, and a short ending.
examples
Give clear and real examples to back up points.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use words like also, but, however, and in addition.
grammar
Check spelling and fix big grammar errors. Use short, simple sentences.
content
The writer has ideas on how social media can change ads and lives.
effort
There is a clear effort to answer the question.
complexity
Some long sentences show attempt to explain.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: