IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern life, people do not have enough hours to rest
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to some health issues. With
Correct article usage
a balance
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balance
Replace the word
balanced
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 work-life, they can get
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 routine and more
time
Use synonyms
 to sleep.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes of lack of sleep and suggest some effective ways for individuals to have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to relax. One major reason is
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 wrong habits. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
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, with the
evolving
Replace the word
evolution
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 of technology, before bedtime, more employees spend most of
Use synonyms
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
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 on screen,
check
Wrong verb form
checking
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 updates on social media, as effects
negatively
Rephrase
apply
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on their
span
Check wording
sleep
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 and reduce productivity at work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, eating unhealthy food and
drink
Wrong verb form
drinking
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 more caffeine during the day
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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gives them
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 power to stay wakeup for long hours.
For example
Linking Words
, students stay
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
late
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
apply
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and drink coffee or tea to focus on their
studying
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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. Another reason is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 health problems
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, stress and overthinking
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to lack of sleep. To reduce
this
Linking Words
 problem, workers should have a rest
time
Use synonyms
 to recharge themselves and
no
Verb problem
turn no
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 electronic devices before sleep, in order to be more effective and increase productivity.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and
educational
Replace the word
education
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 play a key role in
this
Linking Words
 regard, so they can
engorge
Verb problem
encourage
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 individuals to follow
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle and educate them about the importance of enough sleep.
For instance
Linking Words
, regular exercise and
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
 diet.
Also
Linking Words
, take enough
time
Use synonyms
 for
relaxations
Fix the agreement mistake
relaxation
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. In conclusion, the lack of sleep
mainly
Verb problem
is mainly
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 driven by ineffective lifestyle and health issues.
However
Linking Words
, with more awareness about healthy sleep and balance work-life
Punctuation problem
, persons
show examples
persons
Check wording
people
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 can be productive and healthy
person
Check wording
apply
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.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Say first the cause, then the fix. End with a short line.
language
Use simple words and short sentences. Avoid long, tricky phrase.
grammar
Check each sentence for a noun, a verb and a finish. Use 'sleep' and 'sleeping' correctly.
content
The essay tries to cover both what lack of sleep causes and how to fix it.
structure
It has an intro, a body and a conclusion, which shows plan.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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