ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

There

are

Verb problem

is are

show examples

group of

people

Use synonyms

saying that using violence in online

games

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will impact the community .

Wheares

Correct your spelling

Whereas

another group say the online

games

Use synonyms

don't have any

imapct

Correct your spelling

impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

person

Use synonyms

. In my

opinon

Correct your spelling

opinion

, I consider that violence in

Use the right word

show examples

and online

games

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

damage in

Replace the word

damaging effect on

show examples

the community .

To begin

Linking Words

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

using bad online

games

Use synonyms

and watching bad

tv it

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

will let the

person

Use synonyms

make

unbeautifel

Correct your spelling

ugly

things

Use synonyms

. In

onther

Correct your spelling

other

Fix the agreement mistake

words

show examples

word

Punctuation problem

word,

show examples

when

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person

Use synonyms

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

bad online

Use synonyms

games

Punctuation problem

games,

show examples

it will damage

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

brain and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will do

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad

things

Use synonyms

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

it will impact his

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

show examples

and he will change his

natrul infromations

Check wording

nature

show examples

Punctuation problem

. For

show examples

for

Linking Words

example

Punctuation problem

example,

show examples

when a

person

Use synonyms

has

Verb problem

show examples

imapct

Correct your spelling

impacted

his brain from the awful video

games

Use synonyms

and the

Use the right word

show examples

Punctuation problem

tv,

show examples

he will be a bully with all of the

people

Use synonyms

because he

lost

Wrong verb form

loses

show examples

the good

things

Use synonyms

buy

Use the right word

show examples

brain

Use the right word

being

show examples

washing

Verb problem

brainwashed

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

those bad

things

Use synonyms

. Another point to consider is that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

The

Fix capitalization

the

show examples

person

Use synonyms

will be

unresponsiblity

Correct your spelling

irresponsible

because those

things

Use synonyms

teach

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad

Use synonyms

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say

this

Linking Words

action will let the good

people

Use synonyms

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

hate them .

Moreover

Linking Words

, those

people

Use synonyms

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will not listen to

there

Use the right word

their

show examples

family

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

because of that thing they will make

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

huge problems with the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

For instance

Linking Words

, when they are walking in the

street

Punctuation problem

street,

show examples

there are

people

Use synonyms

walk

Wrong verb form

walking

show examples

with

him

Punctuation problem

him,

show examples

he will try

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence with them because he

remember

Correct subject-verb agreement

remembers

show examples

how the

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

games

Use synonyms

are

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, so he

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

to try

this

Linking Words

thing

Change preposition

with

show examples

the

people

Use synonyms

. In conclusion , there are

people

Use synonyms

agree

Correct pronoun usage

who agree

show examples

with me . So I think the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

must

Verb problem

apply

show examples

close or block these awful

games

Use synonyms

to let the community

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

better .

turkykw00

Sep 17, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Plan your work. Write an intro that states your view. Make a clear plan for your essay with 2 body paragraphs.

language

Keep ideas on one line per idea. Do not repeat the same wrong points. Use simple words.

coherence

Use linking words like First, Also, However, In addition, In conclusion. They help the flow.

grammar

Check grammar and spelling. Use correct form of words.

content

The writer has a clear view and tries to give reasons.

coherence

Uses sign words like 'to begin with' and 'in addition'.

structure

Has a conclusion that tries to restate view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Media violence
Societal damage
Desensitization
Aggression
Imitation
Personal responsibility
Fantasy vs. reality
Conclusive evidence
Behavioral impact
Psychological effects
Content regulation
Parental guidance
Censorship
Ethical consideration
Moral compass
Violent tendencies
Causal relationship
Empirical research
Social responsibility
Critical analysis

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ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think it is not necessary for adults to receive education in class. Self-study is a good way for them to study more effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Government should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?