ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

There
are
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is are
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group of
people
Use synonyms
saying that using violence in online
games
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will impact the community .
Wheares
Correct your spelling
Whereas
another group say the online
games
Use synonyms
don't have any
imapct
Correct your spelling
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
person
Use synonyms
. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I consider that violence in
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
and online
games
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
damage in
Replace the word
damaging effect on
show examples
the community .
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
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using bad online
games
Use synonyms
and watching bad
tv it
Correct pronoun usage
TV
show examples
will let the
person
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make
unbeautifel
Correct your spelling
ugly
things
Use synonyms
. In
onther
Correct your spelling
other
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
word
Punctuation problem
word,
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when
the
Correct article usage
a
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person
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
bad online
Use synonyms
games
Punctuation problem
games,
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it will damage
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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brain and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
things
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
it will impact his
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
and he will change his
natrul infromations
Check wording
nature
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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when a
person
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
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imapct
Correct your spelling
impacted
his brain from the awful video
games
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and the
Use the right word
TV
show examples
tv
Punctuation problem
tv,
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he will be a bully with all of the
people
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because he
lost
Wrong verb form
loses
show examples
the good
things
Use synonyms
buy
Use the right word
by
show examples
brain
Use the right word
being
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washing
Verb problem
brainwashed
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
those bad
things
Use synonyms
. Another point to consider is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
The
Fix capitalization
the
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person
Use synonyms
will be
unresponsiblity
Correct your spelling
irresponsible
because those
things
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teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say
this
Linking Words
action will let the good
people
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
hate them .
Moreover
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not listen to
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
because of that thing they will make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge problems with the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when they are walking in the
street
Punctuation problem
street,
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there are
people
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walk
Wrong verb form
walking
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with
him
Punctuation problem
him,
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he will try
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence with them because he
remember
Correct subject-verb agreement
remembers
show examples
how the
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
games
Use synonyms
are
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, so he
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to try
this
Linking Words
thing
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion , there are
people
Use synonyms
agree
Correct pronoun usage
who agree
show examples
with me . So I think the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
must
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
close or block these awful
games
Use synonyms
to let the community
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
better .

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structure
Plan your work. Write an intro that states your view. Make a clear plan for your essay with 2 body paragraphs.
language
Keep ideas on one line per idea. Do not repeat the same wrong points. Use simple words.
coherence
Use linking words like First, Also, However, In addition, In conclusion. They help the flow.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Use correct form of words.
content
The writer has a clear view and tries to give reasons.
coherence
Uses sign words like 'to begin with' and 'in addition'.
structure
Has a conclusion that tries to restate view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Media violence
  • Societal damage
  • Desensitization
  • Aggression
  • Imitation
  • Personal responsibility
  • Fantasy vs. reality
  • Conclusive evidence
  • Behavioral impact
  • Psychological effects
  • Content regulation
  • Parental guidance
  • Censorship
  • Ethical consideration
  • Moral compass
  • Violent tendencies
  • Causal relationship
  • Empirical research
  • Social responsibility
  • Critical analysis
What to do next:
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