Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

In recent
times
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, the issue of raising
up
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apply
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a child has become a significant issue to concern
in
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for
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the general public. Some individuals maintain that it is better to
grows
Verb problem
raise
show examples
a
kid
Check wording
child
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only by parents.
While
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
others argue that
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
should
bringing
Wrong verb form
be brought
show examples
up by the whole family. Personally, I agree with
an
Correct article usage
the
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idea that
kids
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are better
growing
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off growing
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up
by
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with
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the whole family.
This
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essay will explain
benefits
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the benefits
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of growing up
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kids
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apply
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with an extended family and explore the
reason
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reasons
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behind.
To begin
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with, bringing up
children
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by
Change preposition
in
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a household would help
kids
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to
develope
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develop
a
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apply
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social
skill
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skills
show examples
.
Kids
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who
growing
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grow
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up or
staying
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stay
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around their relatives would have
a
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apply
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better communication skills. To illustrate, if those individuals
use
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are used
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to
surrounding
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being surrounded
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by different general,
age
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ages
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, and
generation
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generations
show examples
people
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apply
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, they would
finding
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find
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themselves out that it is not challenging to get into communities or
strate
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start
conversations with random people because they were
farmileir
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familiar
with the situations.
Second,
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another key to support is that it is
convinent
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convenient
to parents. Some people may not have
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for their
kids
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, so it is beneficial for them to have someone
helps
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help
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them
taking
Wrong verb form
take
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care of their
children
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, including
,
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apply
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uncles,
unts
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aunts
, grandparents,
and
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apply
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etc.
For example
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, workers who spend more
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
at companies than their
houses
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home
show examples
might not be able to focus on their
children
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, but if they
bringing
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bring
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up their
childrens
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children
by
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with
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household
support
Punctuation problem
support,
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it will be
helpfull
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helpful
for them. In conclusion,
rasing
Use the right word
raising
show examples
up
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apply
show examples
kids
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by
Change preposition
as
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whole
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a whole
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family brings lots of benefits
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such
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, such
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as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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helping
kids
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to get
in to
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into
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a
sociaty
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society
, saving the
parent
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parents
show examples
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
and being convenient. For these reasons, I firmly believe that
children
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should
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
up
by
Change preposition
in
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the
househould
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household
because it
helpful
Verb problem
is helpful
show examples
for
kids
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in the
futher
Correct your spelling
future
, which will be useful for their lives.

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Fix many grammar and spelling mistakes to make sense.
structure
Make a clear point in each paragraph with a topic sentence.
language
Keep ideas simple and use easy words.
content
Add clear examples to support your ideas.
task
Check the ending sentence to show your final view.
content
Your view on the topic is clear.
structure
You use linking words like To begin with, Second, In conclusion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended family
  • child-rearing
  • diverse experiences
  • harmonious family environment
  • sense of belonging
  • emotional support
  • wisdom and guidance
  • multicultural societies
  • heritage and traditions
  • conflicts and confusion
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