IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today.

The maps compare the grounds of a
farm
Use synonyms
 in 1950 with its present form.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
farm
Use synonyms
 has undergone major transformations, with new commercial, residential, and recreational facilities added. The main track running across the
farm
Use synonyms
 has been replaced by a road. To the south of the road, a camping field has been established adjacent to newly
solar
Verb problem
installed solar
show examples
 panel areas, occupying the area that was formerly used for sheep grazing. Parking areas have
also
Linking Words
 been added, first in the northwest corner and another on the eastern side. The barn has been relocated to the southern end of the triangular road junction,
while
Linking Words
 its previous site has been redeveloped into holiday cottages across from the eastern parking lot. Meanwhile, both the chicken
coop
Fix the agreement mistake
coops
show examples
 remain in the same locations. The fruit trees, soft fruits, and vegetable plots have
been
Correct word order
also been
show examples
also
Linking Words
 preserved in their original positions along the river, with soft fruits lying between the vegetables and fruit trees.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a
farm
Use synonyms
 shop has been built in the fruit trees area.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You cover the big changes well. Add a short final line to sum up what the site is like now compared with then.
coherence
Use a clear order. Start with one big change, then move to other changes in steps like first, then, next, finally.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors (for example, 'The chicken coop remains in the same places' and 'have also been preserved').
lexical
Keep words simple. You can name places and things with common words only, and check that all actions match time (past vs present).
coherence
Link ideas with small words such as 'and', 'but', 'also', 'while' so ideas flow.
content
The plan shows many changes with clear detail about location and new items.
structure
The opening sentence gives a good overall view of change.
structure
Use of phrases like 'south of the road' and 'across from' helps show where things are.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: