Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Bureaucrats play a crucial role in providing services for the well-being of society.Few individuals believe that authorities ought to utilise money on the quickest means of public
transportation
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. Whilst
,
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others think funds should be invested in other required areas like cost and environment.
This
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essay tends to delve into both prospects prior to embarking on a suitable conclusion. To commence with,traffic problems are rising day by day. To tackle
this
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issue, the
government
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should come forward to solve
this
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problem by spending money on public
transportation
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,like buses and trains, by providing more frequent services, which would ultimately shift individuals' preference from private to public transport.
Consequently
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, the chance of traffic congestion will be reduced.
For instance
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, Authorities of many countries take an initiative to offer free bus services to the public
,
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;
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as a result
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, they
are having
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have
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the smoothest flow of vehicles on the roads.
Hence
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, the
government
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should always consider public
transportation
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as a priority
,
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while
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investing in various other sectors.
On the other hand
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, pollution is a major issue, people face in their daily lives. Because of
this
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, bureaucrats should utilise finances in the disposal of waste
as
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, as
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they should hire more individuals to collect garbage and dispose of it accurately.
Hence
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, it could save the environment from being depleted.To cite an example, the arrangement of separate bins for waste, recycling and organic waste in a few countries
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is less likely to be seen with high pollution levels.
Therefore
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, environmental concerns should not be neglected by the
government
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. In my opinion, both areas need equal attention from the
government
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as they both provide a safe and clean environment to the general public. In conclusion,
while
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it is true that public
transportation
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needs proper recognition from the
government
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, it is equally important to recognise environmental problems .

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coherence
Work on tying ideas with easy join words and clear links so each idea flows to the next.
task
Give more detail for each point and add one or two strong examples to back up your view.
language
Fix grammar and save sentences from being too long; use short, clear lines.
task
The essay talks about both sides and a final view.
content
It uses some real ideas like free bus service as an example.
structure
The paragraphs have a clear start and end and the idea is easy to read.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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