Social media has become a powerful tool for communication, but some argue that it negatively affects social interactions and mental health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Social
media
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is a great tool for
communication
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;
however
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, some argue that there are drawbacks to it, like addictivity and the type of content
that is
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available. I do believe that it has more negative effects than positive. The chief merit of social
media
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is the widespread
communication
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that is
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available. By using social
media
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, each person is able to interact with other people who may not be in the same place or country. The interaction these
apps
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bring can be effective for communicating with a lot of people.
Moreover
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, social
media
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also
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provides means for
communication
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in case of lockdowns;
For instance
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, during the coronavirus pandemic, a number of individuals used social
media
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to socialise with others.
However
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, there may be disadvantages to
this
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approach, with the main one being the addictiveness. The more a person indulges in social
media
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, the more obsessed they become with it.
As a result
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, they may prefer to communicate via
apps
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rather than face-to-face. Recently, there has been a decrease in
overall
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physical interaction since the invention of these
apps
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.
Moreover
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, the content
that is
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available in
such
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media
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can
also
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harm individuals. A lot of creators heavily edit their faces and physiques in order to look perfect;
this
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causes the viewer to be self-aware and results in unnecessary comparison.
This
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comparison degrades one's confidence and mental health.
For example
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, disorders like Body-dysmorphia and eating disorders are quite prevalent among social
media
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users. In conclusion,
while
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social
media
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can help in
communication
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, it
also
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causes disorders and an obsession with
such
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apps
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.
Therefore
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, I think that the drawbacks are much more significant.

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structure
The essay has a clear view but it needs more strong ideas and clear proof. Add a short intro that states the topic and your view, and a brief closing that mirrors what you said.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple signs like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example', 'therefore' to show how ideas fit together.
content
Work on making each idea in a paragraph one main point with a simple example.
language
Check small grammar mistakes and keep sentences short so meaning is easy to see.
strength
Clear stance that negatives are stronger, and some examples are used.
cohesion
Good use of connectors like 'However', 'Moreover', and 'For instance'.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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