IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is best to accept difficult situations,
such
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 as an unsatisfactory job or financial hardship,
while
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 others believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should try to change their circumstances. In my view, both approaches can be valid depending on the type of problems, so a balanced attitude is most effective. There are occasions when acceptance is the most practical option.
For instance
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, a person may remain in a low-paid job because it offers stability for their family,
whereas
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 changing jobs could involve risk or uncertainty.
Similarly
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, in situations
such
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 as economic recession or political instability, opportunities for improvement may be very limited. In
such
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 cases, accepting reality can reduce stress and help individuals cope until conditions change.
On the other hand
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, making efforts to improve one's circumstances usually leads to personal growth and development. A worker dissatisfied with their position,
for example
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, may choose to undertake
further
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 training to secure a better career.
Likewise
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,
people
Use synonyms
 struggling financially might find new income sources or adjust their spending habits.
Such
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 proactive steps not only enhance material conditions but
also
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 boost resilience and confidence.
However
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, some problems ,
such
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 as deeply rooted political or religious conflicts, are largely beyond an individual's control, and attempts to change them may be futile.
Nevertheless
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, history demonstrates that many breakthroughs in society and technology came from
people
Use synonyms
 who refused to accept difficulties and created solutions of their own. In summary,
while
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 accepting hardship can sometimes be unavoidable, striving for improvement is usually a better option. These two approaches should be seen as complementary, and individuals should apply whichever is more suitable to the challenges they face.

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structure
Plan your essay with four parts: intro, two body parts for each view, and a short conclusion.
vocabulary
Try to keep to simple words. Some long terms like 'proactive' may not be in the top 100. Use plain words like 'active steps' or 'work to improve'.
grammar
Fix small grammar and punctuation. Do not add spaces before commas. Start new sentences after 'However' or 'For instance'.
content
Add specific and real examples from work or daily life to show how people can change the job or money.
cohesion
Link ideas clearly from one part to the next with simple words such as 'also', 'but', 'then', 'so'.
task
You show a clear view that both ideas can be right.
cohesion
You use clear link words to show contrast and flow.
content
You give examples for each side, and finish with a closing idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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