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Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There are
diffrenet opinoins
Correct your spelling
different opinions
 regarding
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
sports
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. Some
people
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 think that
sports
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to become
helthier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 because
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 improve their
life stayle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 and
enhanse
Correct your spelling
enhance
 their bodies.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
sports
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 only for those who have
over weghit
Correct your spelling
overweight
 or medical issues. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I agree that
sports
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 good for
children
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.
Body paragraph 1
Sports
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could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 affect a lot for
children
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as their bones, brains,
sleep
Correct word choice
and sleep
show examples
. When
people
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excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age
Punctuation problem
age,
show examples
 they increase
mobilty
Correct your spelling
mobility
 and clear their head.
Also
Linking Words
, studies
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that
sports
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rise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 the quality of sleep.
For example
Linking Words
, when
somone
Correct your spelling
someone
 workout they often return to their home and sleep to rest.
Body paragraph 2
Despite the
advanteges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of
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sports
Punctuation problem
sports,
show examples
 some
people
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 have another point of view. They see that
sports
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 only a
hoppy
Use the right word
hobby
show examples
 or for
people
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 with problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they do not think
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 a priority. In their
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
Use synonyms
sports
Punctuation problem
, sports
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 for
Correct article usage
the overwheghit
show examples
overwheghit
Correct your spelling
overweight
.
For example
Linking Words
,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 only to become thinner and have a great fit.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
sports
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 could help
children
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grow and become strong adults. Other
people
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 disagree and see
sports
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is
Use the right word
as
show examples
 a
hoppy
Use the right word
hobby
show examples
 and not important. My
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
 is
Use synonyms
sports
Correct word choice
that sports
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 for
children
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Spellings and words are not right in many places. Fix long words and typos so the message is clear.
structure
Make the essay plan clear: one part to show both sides, one part to show your own view, and a short ending.
style
Use short, simple sentences. This helps readers understand your points.
content
Give one or two examples to support a point, and explain why it matters.
content
You try to show both sides of the topic.
content
You state your own view in the end.
content
There are ideas about health effects like bones and sleep.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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