Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Nowadays, it is highly debated that the
number
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of flights should be reduced. Some people suggest that it benefits the environment,
while
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I believe the drawbacks for individuals and corporations should not be neglected. On the one hand, reducing the
number
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of flying
times
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or stopping flying
lead
Fix the agreement mistake
leads
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to some serious drawbacks.
Firstly
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, people have to take a ship
first
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first,
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then
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turn to land transport if they want to go to a landlocked country. It not only takes a lot of time, but
also
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increases the cost of transportation. Regarding companies, overseas business trips usually take only a few days
but
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, but
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it takes them multiple
times
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on commuting, leading to the business cost increases.
Secondly
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, if the
number
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of passengers drops sharply, it would cause operational damage to the air industry, airport workers, and tourists,
even
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and even
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facing
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lead to
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bankruptcy.
As a result
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, it shows a growth in unemployment, the governments have to invest funds to tackle these problems
and
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, and
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the economic pressure of the country may rise.
On the other hand
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, there are some merits of reduced flying.
To begin
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with, environmental pollution would decline.
Air planes
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Aeroplanes
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have the highest carbon emissions
,
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;
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lower flying
times
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can ease global warming.
Next,
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corporations start to develop alternative transport systems
such
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as electronic ships and green energy trains.
However
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, these revolutions will take a lot of time to invent and
also
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demand a lot of capital investment. In conclusion, reducing the
number
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of flying
times
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or stopping flying may benefit the environment;
however
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, it brings more time and money costs to individuals and companies.
Therefore
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, the disadvantages exceed the merits.

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task
Explain each main idea with a clear reason and add one simple example to back it up.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit together and to move from one point to the next.
grammar
Check grammar and form: look at subject and verb in each line, use full stops well and fix plural if needed.
task response
The view is clear at the start.
structure
There is a plan with three parts: two sides and a conclusion.
coherence
Good use of hand help words like On the one hand, On the other hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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