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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams below show three methods by which three companies choose to recruit new employees. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show three methods by which three companies choose to recruit new employees. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The flow charts show the procedure to hire new employees.
Overall
Linking Words
, three companies need to go through at least four steps to get an offer. There are four steps to receive a position in
Use synonyms
company
Fix capitalization
Company
show examples
 A.
Initially
Linking Words
, people see the advertisement within the
company
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and submit a shortlist to the HR manager. If individuals fit the job requirement, they will be invited to
interview
Use synonyms
. When people pass the
interview
Use synonyms
, they will get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 offer from the
company
Use synonyms
. In
contract
Use the right word
contrast
show examples
, there are some differences in
company
Use synonyms
 B
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
add
Correct subject-verb agreement
adds
show examples
 two processes. The applicants need to be considered before submitting the shortlist.
In addition
Linking Words
, the candidates have to take a test and an
interview
Use synonyms
 at the same
step
Check wording
time
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
company
Use synonyms
 C uses a different hiring process.
Company
Use synonyms
 C prefers to recruit externally before the advertisement.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
company
Use synonyms
 C
also
Linking Words
 provides the two stages,
such
Linking Words
 as advertisement by agents and research by headhunters. The applicants have to submit a shortlist, attend an
interview
Use synonyms
 and get the job offer.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words company, interview with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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