IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table presents information about average
sales
Use synonyms
 in four different
categories
Use synonyms
 of different branches of a
restaurant
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Vancouver
Correct article usage
the Vancouver
show examples
restaurant
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Georgia
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
street
Fix capitalization
Street
show examples
 had the highest average
sales
Use synonyms
 in four different
categories
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
although
Linking Words
 the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
drake
Fix capitalization
Drake Street
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street
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
sales
Use synonyms
 in three
categories
Use synonyms
, it had higher
transaction
Use synonyms
 values compared to the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 in
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
street
Fix capitalization
Street
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the value of
Use synonyms
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
 in three restaurants showed lower values compared to
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
categories
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, all restaurants sold different popular
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
, but all contained chicken. In terms of
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
transactions
Use synonyms
, the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 in Vancouver
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, Georgia
show examples
Georgia
Punctuation problem
Georgia,
show examples
 was 854, which was the highest record, and it was roughly 50 higher than
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 the
restaurant
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
street
Fix capitalization
Street
show examples
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the lowest of
transaction
Use synonyms
 numbers recorded was in
Use synonyms
drake
Fix capitalization
Drake Street
show examples
street
Use synonyms
, at 390. Regarding the number of people who love dining and
take away
Use the right word
takeaways
show examples
, the
transactions
Use synonyms
 for both were recorded relatively
similar
Replace the word
similarly
show examples
 in all restaurants. Above 400 was for
Georgia
Use synonyms
, which was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
twice
higher
Correct word choice
as high
show examples
than of
Change preposition
as
show examples
Drake
Use synonyms
, and above 300 was for
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
.
Transaction
Use synonyms
 value in
Georgia
Use synonyms
 accounted for nearly $11, making it consistently considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a branch with the top
sales
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
 had the second highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in terms of
transactions
Use synonyms
, the number of eat-in and take-away
transactions
Use synonyms
,
Verb problem
was, however
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the
transaction
Use synonyms
 was valued at around $5
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was lower than
Drake
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, categories, restaurant, georgia, street, drake, transaction, dunsmuir, transactions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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