IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant. https://ieltsmaterial.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Map.jpg

The map below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant. https://ieltsmaterial.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Map.jpg
The picture depicts the map of a school
40
Change preposition
from 40
show examples
 years ago and in the present day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the number of students increased, and new
classroom
Use synonyms
 buildings were constructed. It is
also
Linking Words
 interesting that playing fields shrank and in
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 place now
stands
Correct subject-verb agreement
stand
show examples
 new facilities. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 in the west of the school was replaced by
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 resources
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and computer
room
Punctuation problem
room,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the small car park and
clasroom
Correct your spelling
classroom
 buildings next to it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
destructed
Verb problem
destroyed
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 block in the east was upgraded to 3
storey
Correct your spelling
3-storey
 infrastructure. It is
also
Linking Words
worthy
Replace the word
worth
show examples
to mention
Wrong verb form
mentioning
show examples
 that the road between
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 classrooms and
Use synonyms
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 block is now gone, and there are trees in its place.
Lastly
Linking Words
, playing fields
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 shrunk
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
, and there are
pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
 and
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in the bottom left of the map.
Besided
Correct your spelling
Besides
, there were built 2 new
classroom
Use synonyms
 blocks
opposite
Verb problem
were built opposite
show examples
 to each other below
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
recourses center
Use the right word
resources centre
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 remained intact,
shape
Correct article usage
the shape
show examples
 of the car park was changed to
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
 circle
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 it was a square before.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words classroom with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: