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Writing Samples
Band 5

News has become more popular and news has become more influential in people's lives. Why? Is this a positive or negative development

In today's world,
news
Use synonyms
 has become more prevalent and influential among
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of the Earth.
This
Linking Words
 trend can be explained by several reasons
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
while
Linking Words
 it has both benefits and drawbacks, I believe it is a largely positive development. One reason why
news
Use synonyms
 is increasingly common is technology. With the advent of technology and the internet, social media has become popular
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's daily lives.
As a result
Linking Words
, more and more individuals started getting information online. Unlike in the past, when individuals relied on newspapers, now
people
Use synonyms
 possess electronic devices
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones, laptops or computers so as to receive information globally. Another reason is
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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; events happening in one country can have a far-reaching influence on the population of the world. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light of that, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 feel
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 to stay informed about the
news
Use synonyms
 of the entire planet in order to perceive how these issues impact their lives. The growing influence of
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 has both merits and demerits. On the positive side, it increases public awareness.
For example
Linking Words
, knowing about ecological and environmental problems might help
people
Use synonyms
 to adopt
eco-friendly
Correct article usage
an eco-friendly
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 lifestyle, and habits which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very essential in today's world as because of
this
Linking Words
 a large number of unique animals and flowers are facing extinction.
In addition
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
 often assists individuals to show
injustice
Correct article usage
the injustice
show examples
 of some government officials, helping to tackle the issue of corruption. As long as citizens identify something doubtful in the authority, they
accustomed
Verb problem
are accustomed
show examples
 to shoot a video and upload it on social media in order to
make
Verb problem
inform
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
informed
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and claim their rights.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the strong influence of
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 create problems. Some channels focus on the number of viewers
instead
Linking Words
 of reliability and quality, spreading fear or exaggerating minor issues to attract a great number of
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fake
news
Use synonyms
 may mislead society and cause extra panic among them. If they
carry
Verb problem
continue
show examples
on getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 information from unofficial websites, it will cause even greater issues in the long run. In conclusion, the popularity of
news
Use synonyms
 can be explained by the progress of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and global
connection
Replace the word
connectivity
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some risks,
such
Linking Words
 as misinformation, the
overall
Linking Words
 impact is highly positive as
news
Use synonyms
 helps
people
Use synonyms
 to stay informed all the time and deal with
illegal
Correct article usage
the illegal
show examples
 actions of some officials.

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coherence
Use more clear linking words to join ideas, such as also, but, however, and because. This helps flow.
structure
Make a stronger plan before writing. Use one idea per paragraph and start each with a clear main idea.
language
Work on grammar and sentence form. Some long sentences are hard to read; break them into shorter ones.
content
Give more precise examples to back up points. Examples here are general.
language
Check word choice and spelling to avoid small errors that slow readers.
strength
The writer shows a view on the topic and keeps a balanced tone.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro, body parts, and a conclusion.
structure
The essay discusses two main ideas: tech and global link, then pros and cons.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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