IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the best way to reduce the gap between the rich and poor is through government intervention, while others believe that it is better to leave it to the free market. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A large proportion argues that
government
Use synonyms
 intervention is the key to
decreasse
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 the
gap
Use synonyms
 between rich and poor
people
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 believed that it would be better if it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 left to the free market.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 and show why I firmly agree with the former opinion. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
power
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, and some think that
this
Linking Words
power
Use synonyms
 should be applied to solve the problems that the country is
encountring
Correct your spelling
encountering
, and one of the most common
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 is the
gap
Use synonyms
 caused by the financial status. I
also
Linking Words
 believe that the state has
this
Linking Words
power
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 for the purpose of improving the country by limiting these problems.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are some
people
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 who advocate leaving
this
Linking Words
 to the free market, and that it's not the
govement
Correct your spelling
government's
 responsibility to solve
such
Linking Words
 issues. They don't think that the state has the ability to reduce the
gap
Use synonyms
 between the two, because
people
Use synonyms
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
esspecicaly
Correct your spelling
especially
 wealthy ones
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 cannot be controlled, or forced into thinking that they should be treating the poorer
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
. From my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I totally disagree with that, the
government
Use synonyms
 has the
eough
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 to make the rich and poor equal, just like how it overcame the black and white
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 problems decades ago. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 had decided themselves into
to
Use the right word
two
show examples
 groups when
discussin
Correct your spelling
discussing
 the best solution to decrease the noticeable
gap
Use synonyms
 between the rich and the poor, the first
encourged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
 the
govrement
Correct your spelling
government
 to
intervenem
Correct your spelling
intervene
, and the other thought against it, and saw
that
Linking Words
is it
Correct word order
it is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 free market problem. And I state that I support
government
Use synonyms
 intervention because I believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 has the
power
Use synonyms
 and the ability to do it.

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content
Be sure to state your view in the first paragraph so the reader knows your position.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
content
Add reasons that support your view and give short examples or facts.
connectivity
Use simple connectors like First, Also, But, So to link ideas.
grammar
Check for spelling and common word form errors and fix them.
structure
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
content
There is a clear claim that government should intervene.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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