Some people think that human needs for farmland,housing and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice:

One of the main factors for the extinction of wildlife is the value of food , clothes and shelter to mankind. Some people think they have a negative impact on the survival of wild
animals
Use synonyms
,
while
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others feel that human needs are too important. I disagree with
this
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opinion.The paragraphs below will lay out evidence to prove my view.
Moreover
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, the Provision of resources, materials and buildings can still be provided without the disappearance of any wildlife. Building houses upward
instead
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of spreading them out will create more land for
animals
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.
Also
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, smart farming should be adopted in order to grow much on a few lands. A clear example is
Correct article usage
the
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adoption of smart farming in the USA.
This
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policy not only provides places for wild
animals
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, but it
ensures
Rephrase
also ensures
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that the available places
were
Wrong verb form
are
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used for parks.
Furthermore
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,the land saved is used to provide clean water,fresh air, and healthy cities with green space. It
also
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produces jobs for individuals through eco-tourism. All these can be achieved, if there are laws implemented to protect key lands , seminars and workshops about smart farming , trees planted for the sole purpose of dispensing fresh air for humans and
animals
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. In conclusion, I believe that human needs and the survival of
animals
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are important to the world.
However
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, I strongly reaffirm my stand that human needs can be reached without the extinction of
animals
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This
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will be accomplished if there is a practical plan in place to promote it.

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improvement
Start with your main view in one short sentence so the reader knows your stand from the first line.
improvement
In the intro, add a small plan of what you will talk about so the reader can follow.
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Each body part should begin with one clear idea or topic sentence.
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Use linking words to show how ideas fit together, such as also, but, because, and so.
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Give more real examples or facts to back up your point.
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Check grammar and use simple, exact words. Avoid long forms and odd phrases.
strength
You show a clear view and you state why you disagree.
strength
You name some ideas like make more parks and use land well.
strength
You use linking words to connect ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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