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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that using all three devices in households in that country depicted an upward trend and the amount of time they are
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
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 dramatically decreased. In the first 40 years, the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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households with ownership of those electrical appliances increased. In 1920,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 30% and 40% of them possessed
Use synonyms
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
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 cleaner and
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
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machine
Use synonyms
, none of them
did not
Verb problem
had
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 have
refrigerator
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. These figures reached 60%, 90% and 60%in 1960, respectively. In
this
Linking Words
 period, the number of
chores hours
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hours of chores
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 fell to 20 . In the second 20 years, despite their decrease in working hours per week, having
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
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 and
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vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
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 cleaner showed a significant growth, and
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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machine
Use synonyms
 was recorded to decrease around 10%.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 39 years, the amount of time spent doing housework reached approximately 10 hours
while
Linking Words
 all the households in that country owned
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vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
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 cleaner and
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 percentage showed a rise in owning
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
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machine
Use synonyms
 and reached less than 70%. All in all,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 and
vacuum
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cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 were applied in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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at the end
Linking Words
 of 2019.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of families had
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
, and the time all those devices worked dropped slightly.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vacuum, machine, refrigerator with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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