IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that economic growth is the only solution to stop poverty and hunger, while others think that economic growth is damaging the environment and should be stopped immediately. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
the
Correct article usage
this
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 day and age, the social demons,
such
Linking Words
 as poverty and hunger, are touching the skies.
This
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 has resulted in sparking a debate that economic growth is the only way to keep a check on
this
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 increase,
while
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 others argue
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that
this
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 is causing destruction of the environment and should not be encouraged. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both these points and will
further
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 explicate my opinion. First and foremost, to promote the economic development of a country, the government tries to
setup
Use the right word
set up
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 new industries and factories in an area. These new factories will provide employment to a large number of
people
Use synonyms
, as they require workers to run these units.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with the increase in the employment rate, more
people
Use synonyms
 will be able to earn a decent living and can fulfil
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
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 needs of their families.
This
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, decreases the impoverishment and hunger among the
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 establish a factory in the backward or rural areas of the country, it will provide
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 to the local
people
Use synonyms
 and
thus
Linking Words
 will improve their living conditions.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, a large section of society believes that setting up these factories is ruining the environmental conditions
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and causing
an
Correct article usage
apply
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irreversible damage.
This
Linking Words
 is true to a certain extent because the big industrial units release harmful gases that cause air pollution.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they dump most of their waste in the water bodies, harming the quality of
water
Correct article usage
the water
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 and the marine life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, setting up these industries requires clearing of the forest areas and cutting of the trees
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will lead to episodes of global warming.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these issues can be resolved to a great extent
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if these units are established away from the cities and alternatives
to
Verb problem
are provided to
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 get rid of their
wastage
Check wording
waste
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. Apart from that, measures should be taken to avoid cutting the trees to proceed. Conclusively, I strongly agree that working on the economic development of a country is one of the crucial means to avoid poverty and hunger among the general masses, since
this
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 will increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job opportunities, which can
further
Linking Words
 help
people
Use synonyms
 find an income source.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 may harm the environment as well because it will escalate pollution in the atmosphere, but
this
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 can be taken care of by planting more trees and avoiding dumping
wastage
Check wording
waste
show examples
 in the water bodies.

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overview
Your answer talks about both sides and states your view. Make your points clearer and add more real or everyday examples to back up ideas. Have one clear main idea in the intro and restate it in the end.
editing
Write in a simple way. Check small mistakes to make it easy to read. Fix grammar like 'set up' vs 'setup', 'establish' vs 'establishing', and use 'to' after 'try' when needed.
coherence
Link ideas with clear words. Use transitions like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example' but do not repeat the same phrase too much.
structure
There is a clear start and end to the essay and it has a view of its own.
content
The writer gives reasons for both sides.
content
There is an example about a factory giving jobs and about pollution,
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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