IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Art and music classes should not be mandotory at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is no
dabute
Correct your spelling
doubt
 that
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are
Use synonyms
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
should be
Correct word order
apply
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
classes
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct word order
should be mandotary
show examples
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 for
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the other
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
classes
Use synonyms
 should cover sciences only. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of
views
Correct article usage
the views
show examples
 and obtain my opinion.
On
Use the right word
One
show examples
 reason why
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
 they think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 need to study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science only, they have to
incourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 our talents.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of
art
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
discover
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 gift by the teacher and
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 try to
grow with
Verb problem
develop
show examples
 it
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during school days.
As a result
Linking Words
, schools can find out the ability of
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 do
magnificient
Correct your spelling
magnificent
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should study
uesful
Correct your spelling
useful
subjects
Use synonyms
 during school days,
whitch
Correct your spelling
which
 means that
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 need to catch all the helpful sciences that will help them when they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the
sudent
Correct your spelling
student
graduated
Replace the word
graduates
show examples
 and
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to be a doctor, the university will focus on
Use synonyms
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the boys who
looking
Verb problem
are looking
show examples
 for amazing jobs
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to improve
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 education and
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 on
scienses
Correct your spelling
science
 materials. In conclusion, both sides have strong arguments about
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are
Use synonyms
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 for
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that
students
Use synonyms
 must take helpful
subjects
Use synonyms
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science is the future for them. It is important for
Correct article usage
the minstry
show examples
minstry
Correct your spelling
Ministry
 of
education
Fix capitalization
Education
show examples
to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
envolving
Correct your spelling
involve
 the
Use synonyms
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
 and
music
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
.

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language
Fix wrong spell and make words easy. This will help the reader see your idea.
cohesion
Use clear link words to show how one idea follows the next.
content
Give one or two clear example and explain how it supports your idea.
structure
Say your view in a clear way in the end of the essay.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
position
There is a general view at the end that is easy to see.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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