IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

all education and healthcare hould be funded by the government and free for everyone. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Many people are of the view
,
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apply
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 that the government should fund the education and health sectors and make these facilities free to everyone. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement as it will have various benefits
like
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, like
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 improved literacy rate and better lifespan. The obvious benefit
,
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 of improving these sectors is the economic growth it will bring. When education is made free, more people will become educated,
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as
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and as
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 a result, there will be less unemployment. The increase in working individuals will cause the government to have greater tax revenue that can be used to develop the nation.
Moreover
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, the residents who are working abroad
also
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 contribute by giving remittances. Countries like Pakistan use mostly remittances to improve the infrastructure of the nation. Another benefit is the increase in lifespan. With better and free healthcare, the life expectancy of individuals would increase.
This
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 ensures that a country can depend on their own workforce
instead
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 of international help ,
thus
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,
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 helping to achieve some independence.
Furthermore
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, since the mortality rate would decrease,
this
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also
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 ensures that a nation has a higher future workforce
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along
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, along
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 with the
elderly
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elderly,
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 to pass down their knowledge to
the
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future generations. Scandinavian countries like Norway, Finland have adopted
this
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 approach and have seen better life expectancy since
then
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. In conclusion, providing free education and health can improve the economy of a state and reduce international dependencies.
Therefore
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, I do believe in
this
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 idea.

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task response
Make one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
task response
Provide stronger and more specific evidence for each point, and tie it to the main idea. Include facts or data if possible.
task response
Show a balance by noting possible costs or limits, even if you favor the idea.
coherence
For better coherence, use clearer linking words. Break long sentences into shorter ones and keep each paragraph on one main idea.
coherence
Organize your piece as intro, 2-3 body parts, and a clear conclusion. Each part should have one main idea.
strength
Clear stance that is easy to see in the first paragraph.
strength
Good use of linking words to show the flow.
strength
The essay has a full ending that restates the view.
strength
Examples are used to show ideas from real life.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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