Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is believed that
the
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apply
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knowldge
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knowledge
come
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comes
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with
person
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a person
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without
profite
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profit
,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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some individuals think it can
enhance
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be enhanced
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by studying and practising. In my
prespictive
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perspective
, not the innate, but the
prosses
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process
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of learning is the most significant factor for
intellingence
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intelligence
in my opinion .
First,
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in
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on
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the one hand, it is
saied
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said
that people are smart from the innate. In
the
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apply
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fact
Add a comma
fact,
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this
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is true, but not
ever
Rephrase
always
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. If people depend on their
intellingence
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intelligence
and
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not learn the
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last
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latest
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new
tecnologi
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technology
or
sineces
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sciences
, they will not improve.
For instance
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, nowadays, the
tecnologi
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technology
has enhanced a lot, so the successful person who
take
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takes
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courses and
keep
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keeps
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going
;
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,
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not who
stay
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stays
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in the same
lavel
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level
.
Second,
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on the other hand
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, many individuals think that it is possible to be more
intellingence
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intelligent
through
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throughout
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the
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apply
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life. It is very true, because
many
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of many
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reasons; one of which teaching applications
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such
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, such
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as
AI
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AI,
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can save time,
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moreover
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moreover,
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many of them are free
which
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, which
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is an advantage.
In addition
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, they are organised
to
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for
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any
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all
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age
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ages
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whether
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, whether
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child
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children
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or older
.
Check wording
adults.
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These online programs are provided with
huge
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a huge
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amount of information, which means
can
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they can
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fuction
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function
well.
For example
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, if the students do not understand
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a lessone
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lessone
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lesson
, they can use these applications and improve their brains.
To sum up
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,
every body
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everybody
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should keep going and study hard, because they need to grow in all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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of life.
the
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The
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compelet
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completion
depending on
innate
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the innate
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is not a perfect matter.
the
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The
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brains and
mameories
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memories
of
peopel
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people
need to work be acive
as
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well
Rephrase
actively
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as
bodies
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their bodies
show examples
.

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structure
Plan the essay with a clear plan: first state the topic, then give two viewpoints, and end with your own view. Use one sentence to show your main idea in the intro and a short summary in the end.
cohesion
Make the intro and conclusion easy. Say what you will talk about and then restate it simply at the end.
cohesion
Use simple links like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however', and 'in addition' to help flow.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Watch common mistakes with words like 'innate', 'intelligence', 'learn' and 'practice'. Use correct verb forms and nouns.
task
The essay tries to discuss two sides of the issue.
content
It states an opinion at the end.
coherence
There is an attempt to use examples and reasons.
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