IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Some
animals
Use synonyms
 are
getting
Verb problem
being
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 exterminated rapidly
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well
as
Use the right word
a
show examples
 few other
animals
Use synonyms
 are going to face the same fate. The essay will discuss how deforestation causes mass extinction of endangered
species
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
outlines
Correct subject-verb agreement
outline
show examples
 how tree
plantation
Fix the agreement mistake
plantations
show examples
 and animal
conservatory
Fix the agreement mistake
conservatories
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 can help to sustain their population. The primary reason behind extinction is global warming caused by deforestation. Forests are
sole
Correct article usage
the sole
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 source of their habitation and
food
Use synonyms
. In the
last
Linking Words
century
Add a comma
century,
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tress
Use the right word
trees
show examples
 are destroyed to create more spaces for factories
as well as
Linking Words
 for farmland to meet the ongoing demand for
food
Use synonyms
 for
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
 population.
As a result
Linking Words
, vulnerable
species
Use synonyms
 are losing their natural residence and
food
Use synonyms
 for survival
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their numbers.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
show examples
 of forests Amazon rainforest lost their 20% size compared to
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 significantly reduced the number
Black
Change preposition
of Black
show examples
Panther
Fix the agreement mistake
Panthers
show examples
. The best solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is to take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
show examples
 of massive tree plantation and create
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 zone for endangered
animals
Use synonyms
ensuring
Punctuation problem
, ensuring
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 sufficient space and supplies.
This
Linking Words
 step will encourage the
animals
Use synonyms
for breeding
Change preposition
to breed
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will eventually increase their population.
For example
Linking Words
, Wolves were almost extinct
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Germany in the 19th Century. The German government planted millions of trees over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 created a dense forest
Punctuation problem
. As
show examples
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 wolves are coming back, and their numbers are increasing gradually.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 conservatory will ensure they are protected from famine and make it easier to study them closely to find
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 possible approach to conserve them. In conclusion, endangered
species
Use synonyms
 are struggling to keep their gene on earth
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of safe
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 and
food
Use synonyms
 supply.
However
Linking Words
,
planned
Correct article usage
a planned
show examples
 forestation programme and
animal
Correct article usage
an animal
show examples
 conservatory will be
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 way
protect
Verb problem
to protect
show examples
 these
species
Use synonyms
 from extinction.

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task
Answer all parts of the task. Explain why animals fall to danger and how we can help, with clear points.
structure
Clear plan to show cause and fix.
evidence
Good use of examples and place names to back ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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