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Writing Samples
Band 4

many University students live with their families, while others live away from home because the universities are in different place what are the advantages and disadvantages of both situation ?

Some of the pupils who
study
Use synonyms
 high-level education live with their parents,
while
Linking Words
 others may live far from their families
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
 on the place of
study
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will first suggest that living far from home can improve life skills,
while
Linking Words
 living with your parents may lead to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more indulgence. The main benefit that you might have by living away from your hometown
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is self-reliance. Now you can do everything by yourself, and learn how to survive in
this
Linking Words
 world;
in addition
Linking Words
, you will gain experience about how to treat people.
For example
Linking Words
, the UK statistics show that 37% of people who
study
Use synonyms
 abroad
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 became more successful in their lives, and most of them declared that they wouldn't have succeeded without living alone. Despite
this
Linking Words
 successful benefit, there are some consequences of living away ,
such
Linking Words
 as you will find it hard to adapt to the new environment. We as human beings
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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want someone around us when sadness or happy, so we won't have anyone to express our feelings, it's
abit
Correct your spelling
a bit
 difficult to travel abroad. Take me
for example
Linking Words
, I used to have my brother beside me when I got sick or even when I wanted to talk with him, but when I travelled to
study
Use synonyms
, I felt emptiness, especially when I was diagnosed with bone softness, and I really wanted someone next to me. In conclusion, living away from your home, you feel lonely and sad, but you will get something
instead
Linking Words
 of these emotions
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 you will be compensated with confidence and successful in your journey.

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structure
Plan your essay in four parts: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one idea. Start with a topic sentence and end with a short link to the next part.
content
Use more real facts or clear examples that are easy to check. Avoid too much personal story that may not apply to all.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix words like 'abit' and phrases that sound odd.
content
The topic is clear and you take a stance.
structure
There is a personal example which makes the essay feel real.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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