IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2008

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2008
The graph illustrates the weekly
admissions
Use synonyms
 of five different hospitals in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 European country over the period of 2004 to 2008.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
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 it clearly states that
bardley
Fix capitalization
Bardley
show examples
,adlin
Correct your spelling
and Adlin
 are the highest
addmission
Correct your spelling
admissions
 in the hospital compared to other hospitals. In
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
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 the highest
admissions
Use synonyms
 oxley and
it’s
Verb problem
it
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 slightly fluctuates in 2008
Punctuation problem
. Afterwards
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afterwards
Punctuation problem
afterwards,
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 a gradual decline
shows
Wrong verb form
is shown
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is the least in 2018.Stanton
admit
Wrong verb form
admitted
show examples
 above 50 patients
in
Change preposition
at
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 the beginning of the graph
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 an increasing trend
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 doubled in 2018. Adlin shows an upward trend throughout the years
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 Fortsmith kept on a steady pace of
admissions
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
from the statistics of the graph
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 an upward trend of
admissions
Use synonyms
 in the future.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words admissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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