IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the average weekly household spending on five categories in a country in 2000 and 2020.

The bar chart below shows the average weekly household spending on five categories in a country in 2000 and 2020.
The bar chart illustrates the average weekly
households’
Fix the agreement mistake
household’
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 expenditures on five different categories in two periods, 2000 and 2020.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 housing attracted most households.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 entertainment accounted
as
Change preposition
for
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 the lowest among the others.
According to
Linking Words
 the data. In
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
 housing was the dominant, as it reached around 150
dollars
Use synonyms
. Making it 30
dollars
Use synonyms
 greater than it was before two decades
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Furthermore
Linking Words
, food decreased to 90
dollars
Use synonyms
 before being on 100
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
whereas
Linking Words
 transportation faced a huge increase, reaching 100
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 20 years. Entertainment started with 40
dollars
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is considered to be low if we
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
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 it with the others
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 a small jump occurred
increasing
Punctuation problem
, increasing
show examples
 it to around 50
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2020. “Others” began at 80
dollars
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 a huge drop occurred,
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 a decrease of 20
dollars
Use synonyms
, which is the biggest fall among the other categories. To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
,
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 got a sharp increase. Food faced a slight decrease. Transportation experienced a significant increase.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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