Some people believe that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others think that teamwork and cooperation are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some argue that being competitive is a must for
students
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in school.
While
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some believe that
teamwork
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and cooperation
skills
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are more prominent.
This
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essay discusses both sides
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then
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and then
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supports the former idea. In our world, education makes the majority of
students
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competitive and
assists
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helps
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them
with having
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achieve
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successful
consequences
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outcomes
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. The most obvious benefit is academic validation. It is proven that being competitive fuels the
students
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and helps them to study harder for their goals.
Besides
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that, being competitive in school conditions prepares kids for life. A variety of sectors, especially business,
requires
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require
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the individual to be more competitive and have
passion
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a passion
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for their work.
While
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at the same time, being competitive can make that person more passionate and interested in their work. With all thanks to
school
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the school
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environment,
Among
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among
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the drawbacks, the majority of young generations tend to have issues with their mental well-being, overwhelming competitiveness
and
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, and
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comparison can lead to depression and severe mental health problems.
Due to
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that,
teamwork
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and cooperation tend to
favoritize
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be favoured
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more.
Teamwork
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and cooperation
skills
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,
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apply
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leaves
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leave
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the jar of the door open for new friendships and new memories that happen in teams.
Moreover
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, these valuable
skills
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teach young generations how to juggle
with
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apply
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different ideas and leadership
skills
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.
While
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,
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apply
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it prepares
students
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for business life and real life itself.
To conclude
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all
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apply
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, debates between competitiveness and
teamwork
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skills
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are often argued in schools.
However
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, I believe being competitive outweighs more with its high range of advantages.

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task response
To improve task response, state your main view clearly in the introduction and again in the conclusion. Make sure you cover both sides with enough detail.
task response
Balance the essay by giving similar weight to each side. Add more specific ideas or examples for the teamwork side.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence, use a clear plan: intro, one paragraph for each side, and a conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple connecting words (for example, first, also, but, therefore). Check that links fit the idea.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentences short and clear, and fix big grammar mistakes that break meaning. Choose simple words from common use.
task response
The essay shows an attempt to discuss both sides.
coherence and cohesion
There are several linking words and a conclusion that states an opinion.
task response
Some relevant ideas are given about competitiveness and teamwork.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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