IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manfacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manfacture bricks for the building industry.
The diagram below illustrates the manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 for making the brick from
clay
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a linear
process
Use synonyms
 consisting of 7 main steps
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
dinging
Replace the word
ding
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, rolling, wiring, dying, cooling, packing, and the final
process
Use synonyms
 is
deliverying
Correct your spelling
delivering
.
To begin
Linking Words
, the
process
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 with digging the
clay
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
griding
Use the right word
grinding
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 in the
rolloer
Correct your spelling
roller
, in order to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 into small pieces. After that mixed the ground
clay
Use synonyms
 with sand and water.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 mixed
clay
Use synonyms
either
Verb problem
is either
show examples
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moulder
Use the right word
moulded
show examples
 or wire cutter to
become
Verb problem
form
show examples
 the
bricks
Use synonyms
. The next
subsequent
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
stage, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are dyed in a drying oven for 28-48 hours. After the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are completely
dryed
Correct your spelling
dried
, the next
process
Use synonyms
 is to
heating
Replace the word
heat
show examples
 and
cooling
Wrong verb form
cool
show examples
 with around 200 degrees up to 1300 degrees for 48-72 hours
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
 on the
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
. Followed by
cooling
Correct article usage
the cooling
show examples
 and heating
process
Use synonyms
 is packing the
bricks
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are delivered and ready for sale.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, clay, bricks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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