IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others believe that children should start school when they are older. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over when children should start formal education.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals say that they should go to school at an early age, opponents think they should do
when
Rephrase
so when
show examples
 they are older. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 and give my opinion.
Researchs
Correct your spelling
Research
 shows that the
of
Check wording
age of
show examples
 5-7 is a stage children develop fastest

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task
Plan your essay: state your view in a small, clear line in the intro and again in the end.
content
Give more ideas for both sides and explain each point.
structure
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix main grammar and word form errors (like 'Researchs' and 'the of' ).
task
Close with a clear opinion that fits what you said in the intro.
structure
The essay shows a plan to talk about both sides.
content
The writer gives a direct stance in the plan.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • formal education
  • cognitive skills
  • brain development
  • structured learning
  • socialization
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • play-based learning
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • emotional readiness
  • smooth transition
  • academic success
  • burnout
  • pressures of formal education
What to do next:
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