IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

School teachers used to be sources of information; however, some people argue that teachers are not as important as before due to the increasing variety of information resources. What is your opinion?

A number of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the governments should have access to
people
Use synonyms
's
smartphones
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
,
such
Linking Words
 as messages and calls
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 safety reasons.
While
Linking Words
 the other
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they consider
those
Correct determiner usage
that
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information
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
 affair and should not be available without permission. In my opinion, I believe the
pesronal
Correct your spelling
personal
information
Use synonyms
 should
keep
Wrong verb form
be kept
show examples
 private and not allowed to any
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
 or officials
access to
Correct word order
to access
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, the prime advantage of
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 the government
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permission to
fatch
Correct your spelling
fetch
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data from
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 gadgets is to
prevnet
Correct your spelling
prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential crimes.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
ear
Use the right word
era
show examples
, the
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
 became the easiest way to get
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 that fact, all the illegal
oprtions
Correct your spelling
operations
 might happen
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the mobile phone.
For example
Linking Words
, during 2023 in Iraq, the government could catch many
crimnals
Correct your spelling
criminals
 just by
recognized
Verb problem
recognising
show examples
 their message history.
This
Linking Words
 leads
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a safe society and
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 crimes.
On the Other hand
Linking Words
, the detrimental
effecats
Correct your spelling
effects
 of
this
Linking Words
 process can be seen in many cases.
This
Linking Words
 process
Verb problem
is contrlled
show examples
contrlled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by
people
Use synonyms
 who could have personal matters, which may abuse
this
Linking Words
opration
Correct your spelling
operation
 by
access
Replace the word
accessing
show examples
 an
absloute
Correct your spelling
absolute
 personal
information
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as family
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 or images.
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
may disclose their life through the media or
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the deep web.
For instance
Linking Words
, an
iraqi
Fix capitalization
Iraqi
show examples
 online blog which is published a report about how
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
procuders
Correct your spelling
procedures
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
 who were incents,
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 their
information
Use synonyms
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the media and
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 became worried about the community reactions. In conclusion, giving
the
Change preposition
to the
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 government may have benefits
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it leads to
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 lives in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
.
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 can use a new technology which can keep the personal
information
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private
while
Linking Words
can help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 the
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 with critical
information
Use synonyms
.

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planning
Plan your essay with 3 clear ideas: one on the good use of data, one on the bad side, one on a middle view. This helps you keep a clear view.
coherence
Use simple link words to show order and side. Examples: 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
grammar
Write in a calm way. Keep sentences short. Check for misspelt words and fix them.
structure
Make your view clear in the first part. Then add facts. End with a short line that restates your view.
examples
Give a small, real or easy example to back your point.
stance
The writer shows a clear view that privacy is key.
structure
Idea is put in two blocks (two body parts).
structure
There is a final line to end the essay.
What to do next:
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