IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many countries celebrate Halloween or similar festivals at the end of October. Some people argue that these celebrations have a negative impact on cultural traditions, while others believe they promote creativity and community bonding. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Halloween
Use synonyms
 and other similar festivals
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
at the end
Linking Words
 of
october
Fix capitalization
October
show examples
 raised debates in
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 community
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 they are overthrowing the cultural heritage. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others have a different point
saying
Punctuation problem
, saying
show examples
 these events
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
show examples
 creativity and community bonding.
This
Linking Words
esaay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will
disuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both views and state my opinion. On one hand, critics argue that
Halloween
Use synonyms
 undermines the local tradition. In countries rich in culture and local heritage,
Halloween
Use synonyms
 is often driven for commercial purposes
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can become
indeginous
Correct your spelling
indigenous
 to local
cultutre
Correct your spelling
culture
.
For example
Linking Words
, local harvesting
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 or any kind of religious
observences
Correct your spelling
observances
 can be overshadowed by
Halloween
Use synonyms
's
emohasis
Correct your spelling
emphasis
 on
costume
Fix the agreement mistake
costumes
show examples
, candy and
horror themed
Use the right word
horror-themed
show examples
funtions
Correct your spelling
functions
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the supporters of
Halloween
Use synonyms
 state that it can be a great way to connect with other
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 young
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy their time picking costumes.
For example
Linking Words
, one can design and make
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own costume for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Halloween
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will bring out
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 creativity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can join together in school
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 children can do trick or treat sort of events
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 increases the bond in the neighbourhood. In conclusion, it can be said that, even though these imported cultures may affect the local
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
 but it can be
benfecial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to society if they can be approached thoughtfully.
Moreover
Linking Words
, local communities should strive to balance both local and imported
festives
Correct your spelling
festivals
. Rather than viewing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Halloween
Use synonyms
 as a threat,
people
Use synonyms
 should join together and
embark
Verb problem
celebrate
show examples
 these events joyfully.

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task response
Make your plan clear and show your view in the first lines. Put your point at the end of the first paragraph and keep to one idea in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a simple topic idea and use easy words like and, but, so, also to join sentences.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides of the talk and gives a view.
content
Some good ideas about how the fest can make people meet and help kids be creative.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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