IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think living in countryside will have a healthier lifestyle. Some people believe living in city has more health benefits. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that life is precious and we should spend it meaningfully.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 more time in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vibrant cities can bring many
health
Use synonyms
 benefits for inhabitants
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that living in rural regions better choice for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 environment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
analyze
Change the spelling
analyse
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and present my opinion. On one hand, living in modern areas contributes to achieving
growth
Check wording
a better
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that the quality of life encourages the population there to receive
differs
Replace the word
different
show examples
 public services
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as, easily accessible
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational system,
providence
Replace the word
providing
show examples
 an ideal healthcare
favors
Check wording
system
show examples
 and
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
show examples
 environment.
As a result
Linking Words
, all of these services can generally reflect on their lifestyle because they have a direct connection to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their
health
Use synonyms
 culture and situation.
For example
Linking Words
, some research conducted in distinct cities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
found that living in urban areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
beneficially
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 than suburbs, especially in
health
Use synonyms
 patterns, the proportion of diseases and awareness rates.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the citizens who
proffered
Verb problem
prefer
show examples
 to stay in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they are facing many difficulties in their daily life.
In other words
Linking Words
, a lack of community
assistances
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
show examples
 may affect their
health
Use synonyms
 condition
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they
consuming
Verb problem
are consuming
show examples
 natural food
,
Punctuation problem
. Nevertheless
show examples
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 insufficient
health
Use synonyms
 providers there,
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
increasing infection
Replace the word
an increase in infectious
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 people.
For instance
Linking Words
, many rural
have
Check wording
people have
show examples
 inadequate
culture
Check wording
knowledge
show examples
 about routine
checkup
Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
 trend may cause many
health
Use synonyms
 complications
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their bodies. In conclusion, there is no easy answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to consider that the governments have a vital role among their citizens and should offer
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 environment for them.

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task response
Be clear on your view from the start. State your opinion in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence
Make the plan simple: intro, view one, view two, conclusion. Use easy link words to show order.
examples
Add one or two simple examples for each view to back up your point.
strength
The essay tries to deal with both sides of the issue.
strength
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
strength
Link words like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' are used.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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