IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

It is true that in some nations,
people
Use synonyms
 have their own choice to live in a rental accommodation or
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 their own place. I think both options have their own pros and cons, and the best option would
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
depend
upon
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the individuals and the country where they are residing. Living in
renting
Wrong verb form
rented
show examples
 accommodation has its own advantages.
People
Use synonyms
 can easily move from one place to another, and they do not need to pay a higher rent than buying one.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Canada, mostly immigrants are living in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rental houses with their families or friends, where they share their rooms, rent and tasks for the smooth functioning.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 become more responsible and mature when they get freedom
while
Linking Words
 working and studying
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different places.
Also
Linking Words
, owners are responsible
to pay
Change preposition
for paying
show examples
 for repairs and maintenance, resolving issues at rental places or
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 essential appliances as per their
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
. I think, renting
also
Linking Words
 has some drawbacks as landlords may intrude
Change preposition
on tenants
show examples
tenants
Check wording
tenants'
show examples
 privacy, and
pressurized
Verb problem
pressure
show examples
 them to pay higher rent. In
such
Linking Words
 circumstances,
people
Use synonyms
 have to follow the rules set by their owners, which can make them feel under pressure Buying a own
home
Use synonyms
 is significantly beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
. Like
owing
Use the right word
owning
show examples
 a
home
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
long-term
Correct article usage
a long-term
show examples
 stay
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can renovate, decorate and live without any external interference.
Owing
Use the right word
Owning
show examples
 a
home
Use synonyms
 provides a sense of stability to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 when they are living with their family members. Over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, the
property
Use synonyms
 price may increase
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the owners can earn higher values for their
property
Use synonyms
 and can move to another place.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, buying a
home
Use synonyms
 needs a financial commitment. Buyers must be able to manage the mortgage,
property
Use synonyms
 taxes, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maintenance costs. In countries like
Canada
Punctuation problem
Canada,
show examples
 where the high real estate prices, buying
property
Use synonyms
 by
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
show examples
 families or young
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
out of reach. And
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 have to waste their time to sell the
property
Use synonyms
 after that
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may not bring
high yielding
Use the right word
high-yielding
show examples
 profits.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both renting and buying have their own merits and limitations. Renting offers flexibility and lower responsibility,
while
Linking Words
 buying provides stability and long-term financial benefits. The ideal choice depends on an individual’s lifestyle, financial goals, and the housing conditions of their country.

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Grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. For example, 'accomodation' should be 'accommodation' and 'privacy' needs possessive form.
Coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas go together, like 'first', 'also', 'however' instead of long, run-on lines.
Structure
Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
Examples
Give more clear and concrete examples to back up each point.
Clarity
Check facts and keep ideas close to the topic; avoid big, long sentences that confuse the reader.
Strength
Covers both sides of the topic.
Strength
Has an intro and a conclusion.
Strength
Gives an example from Canada to show a point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rent
  • buy
  • home
  • house
  • price
  • cost
  • money
  • pay
  • move
  • stay
  • time
  • plan
  • job
  • life
  • own
  • fix
  • change
  • rule
  • space
  • place
  • loan
  • payment
  • first
  • long
  • short
What to do next:
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