There is no need to go out to see live performances (concert…) because it is better to see them on TV or computer screen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that there are significant benefits to attending live shows,
such
Linking Words
as music concerts and stand-up comedy,
while
Linking Words
others contend that it is better to watch
such
Linking Words
performances at home on television or digital devices.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay will discuss both perspectives and present my own viewpoint as well. On the one hand , watching live shows brings numerous benefits for individuals. First and foremost , there is the aspect of socialising because people can make a number of new friends during
such
Linking Words
performances .
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my friends has developed a wide social circle because of going to musical nights and concerts.
Secondly
Linking Words
, live shows bring a unique environment that cannot be replicated on computer screens, as the atmosphere, the crowd energy and direct interactions with performers create everlasting memories.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents contend that it is better to see live events on TV, mobile phones or computer screens, as
this
Linking Words
approach brings a number of positive points. The most notable advantage is saving money, since individuals often have to pay a lot of money to buy tickets for
such
Linking Words
events.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my friends bought a ticket costing around 1.5k USD for the India vs Pakistan cricket match,
whereas
Linking Words
I watched the same match free of cost on my laptop.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, apart from money, people have to spend their valuable time taking flights, going to the venue and passing security measures as well. In light of the above facts, I admit that attending live performances brings a lot of advantages, but I strongly agree that it is better to watch
such
Linking Words
events at home on mobile devices, laptops or televisions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Check grammar and spacing. Fix spaces before commas and after periods.
task
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and stay steady to that view.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next inside and between paragraphs.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea and one strong example to support it.
grammar
Keep sentences short and easy. Do not cram many ideas in one sentence.
examples
Choose examples that are easy to see and tie them to your point.
structure
The writer shows both sides and gives a personal view.
content
There are examples to back ideas.
organization
Introduction and conclusion exist to frame the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: