IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Higher education is one of the priorities of every
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
 recently. It can be seen that many
students
Use synonyms
 have a plan to take a trip or acquire work
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 a
year
Use synonyms
 after
school
Use synonyms
. What I believe is that a long-term break might decrease their tendency to start
university
Use synonyms
. When
students
Use synonyms
 experience a gap
year
Use synonyms
 between their
school
Use synonyms
 days and
university
Use synonyms
, they become disconnected from
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 environment. In
this
Linking Words
 period,
due to
Linking Words
 being far from
competitive
Correct article usage
the competitive
show examples
 world, they might lose their discipline and
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 academic lessons.
Similarly
Linking Words
, most of the tips might be forgotten during their breaks, and they will not be academically prepared.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will become so lazy, and it will take too much time to become ready for their
university
Use synonyms
 entrance exam. Another factor which should not be underestimated is that
students
Use synonyms
 might be compared with their peers and classmates during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 after high
school
Use synonyms
. Not only
cannot they
Correct word order
can they not
show examples
 enjoy their moments, but they
Linking Words
also are
Correct word order
are also
show examples
 under a lot of pressure from their parents and society.
As a result
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 their poor mental situations, the possibility of their acceptance at universities might decrease.
Moreover
Linking Words
, working
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
year
Use synonyms
 before starting
university
Use synonyms
 can bring negative effects. Despite the fact that they follow their financial dreams, it can be very
addicted
Correct word choice
addictive
show examples
 for them to accumulate more and more money.
Hence
Linking Words
, they may become overwhelmed by the adult world.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will stay in their jobs to meet their financial needs, and they will disconnect from the educational atmosphere completely.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, when
students
Use synonyms
 spend their time in long-term travel, they might forget all their childhood dreams. They don’t have enough motivation to help them to be hardworking and keep learning. Sometimes, they become familiar with harmful substances like cigarettes and other drugs in their recreational activities, which create bad habits for them.
Thus
Linking Words
, we cannot have any expectations to follow their education. Some people admit that
students
Use synonyms
 need longer rests after their high
school
Use synonyms
 to become successful because they think
students
Use synonyms
 spent most of their time on study during
school
Use synonyms
 days, and graduation from schools will be provided an opportunity for them to improve their moods, but there are a lot of records which have displayed that
students
Use synonyms
 often get higher ranks and be accepted by the universities when they prepare for
university
Use synonyms
 exams immediately. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some situations to distract
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 attention during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 after graduation from
school
Use synonyms
,
keeping studying
Wrong verb form
continuing to study
show examples
 after
school
Use synonyms
 helps them to
purse
Use the right word
pursue
show examples
 their dreams instantly. I suggest considering a short break after
school
Use synonyms
 can improve their moods.

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task
Make your view clear at once. Start with one line that says your view. Then give two or three strong ideas to back it up. End with a simple line that restates your view.
structure
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Use a short topic line for each paragraph so the reader sees the point.
cohesion
Use small linking words to show how ideas go to the next. Examples: First, Then, Also, But, So, For example.
grammar
Check grammar and the use of words. Some lines may be hard to hear. Fix wrong words and make the meaning clear.
content
Give a clear example for each main idea. Use facts or simple facts that fit your point.
strength
You take a clear stand that a long break can be bad for study.
strength
The topic is started and a view is kept through the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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