In many countries, sports stars earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that sports stars earn too much money, while others claim that they deserve their high salaries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Over the years,
sportmen
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
have acquired an exceptional wealth in many countries.
This
Linking Words
has sparked debates among individuals . Some think that the incomes celebrities earn are too much because the career does not require a degree and
encourage
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encourages
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disregard pf other
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professions
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professions,
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while
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others believe that they deserve the high
income
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due to
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their creativity ,confidence and devotion to their work. In my honest opinion, I think both perspectives are important, but I strongly believe that
sportmen
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sportsmen
deserve their high reward
and
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, and
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this
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will be displayed in the paragraphs below First of all , Athletes
provides
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provide
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different forms of entertainment to people through games and programs. Through Intense training,
rehersals
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rehearsals
,
creativity
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and creativity
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athlete's
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, athlete's
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able
deliver
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to deliver
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masterpiece
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a masterpiece
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game to the public. These games
displays
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display
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pure emotions and skills that could positively impact the lives of people.
For example
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,
An
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an
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exceptional football game would inspire a lot of young boys to become
footballer
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footballers
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in the future.
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, A study from the
university
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University
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of
london
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London
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shows that 50% students were inspired to be
footballer
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footballers
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because of a football match .
Furthermore
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, many
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sport
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sports
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stars
goes
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go
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through Intense training, diets , and psychological evaluation to win a game.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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Messi has an intense gym schedule with a crazy diet in order to keep fit for football matches. Unfortunately, many people are opine that
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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stars do not deserve the high
income
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because
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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career
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careers
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not require a degree like other
professions
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Linking Words
such
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, such
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as medicine. They believe that
,
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apply
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it is unfair for athletes to
be earning
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earn
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high rewards when
,
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apply
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they did not go through the hassle of schools or universities compared to other
professions
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. With the high
income
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received by the athletes, Everyone will want to be footballers, basketball etc, thereby reducing the need for other
professions
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.
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will have a negative impact on the growth of the economy because without other
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professions
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professions,
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the society may not survive. In conclusion,
Fix capitalization
although
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Although
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the high
income
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is encouraging individuals to join
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Correct article usage
the sport
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sport
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sports
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industry
disregarding
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, disregarding
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other
career
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careers
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. I still strongly believe that the sports stars deserve the high
income
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due to
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their devotion,
hardwork
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hard work
, creativity and love towards the
sport
Use synonyms
. I
also
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think they deserve it because of the entertainment, emotions and skills they give to the public.

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grammar/structure
Break long ideas into short, clear sentences. This helps readers follow your point.
task management
Make the plan in your intro and repeat it in the conclusion. Use a clear thesis.
content
Use simple, real examples and check names or facts you give.
structure
You try to cover both views and give a clear opinion.
organization
There is an opening and closing part in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionate
  • essential service providers
  • societal benefits
  • income inequality
  • economic value
  • ticket sales
  • merchandise
  • sponsorships
  • job creation
  • rigorous training
  • health risks
  • financial stability
  • entertainment factor
  • global following
  • command high salaries
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