IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Work today is very different from the past. Many people work from home because of technology. Some people say that this is a positive development. Others say that it is negative. Discuss how this has changed the way we work and are there too many disadvantages in relying on technology

In today’s world, technology has become an important part of
life
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 and has changed the way
people
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work
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. One clear result of
this
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 change is that many
people
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 now
work
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 from
home
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. Some
people
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 believe
this
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 is a positive development,
while
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 others argue that it has negative effects. In my view, working from
home
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 has both benefits and problems. On the one hand, working from
home
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 is very helpful for
people
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 who live in big and crowded cities
such
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 as Istanbul. Traffic is a major problem, and employees spend a lot of
time
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 commuting every day.
As a result
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, they often feel tired and less motivated at
work
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. Online working solves
this
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 problem because
people
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 can stay at
home
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 and save
time
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.
Moreover
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, they can spend more
time
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 with their families, which makes them feel mentally better.
For example
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, parents can give more attention to their children, and
this
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 creates stronger family relationships.
Therefore
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, working from
home
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 can be seen as a good solution for
people
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 in large cities.
On the other hand
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, working from
home
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also
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 has disadvantages. Some
people
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 find it difficult to focus at
home
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 because there are many distractions,
such
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 as housework.
In addition
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, in
offices
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offices,
show examples
 colleagues can help and support each other, which makes teamwork stronger. At
home
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,
however
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,
people
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 may feel isolated and miss social interaction.
Furthermore
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, it can be hard to separate
work
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life
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 from private
life
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, and
this
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 can increase stress over
time
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. In conclusion, working from
home
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 has both positive and negative sides. It saves
time
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 and improves family
life
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, but it can
also
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 cause isolation and reduce
work
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 discipline. I believe the best way is to combine working from
home
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 with working at the office.

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coherence and task response
Add more clear points for each idea and give more real life examples from home work to show how tech helps or hurts.
coherence
Make links between ideas with simple words so the essay flows better.
language use
Use shorter phrases and simple words to keep a steady pace.
task response
End with a clear view and a simple plan for using home work and office work.
structure
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a end.
structure
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show sides.
content
It gives a personal view and a closing line that says what is best.
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