IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit the teenagers and the community as well. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Recently
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
 teenagers
interested
Verb problem
have been interested
show examples
to join
Change preposition
in joining
show examples
 clubs and volunteering
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 at university.
In addition
Linking Words
, they
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 take a salary
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I see it is
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 idea
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to
side
Verb problem
be side
show examples
. First of all, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of chances
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 to
students
Use synonyms
 of all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the universities And schools.
Also
Linking Words
, some universities demand +40 volunteering hours to accept
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the university . Actually
Add a comma
,
show examples
it makes
students
Use synonyms
 feel like they are dependent on
them selves
Use the right word
themselves
show examples
 and
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 them to know how they can
contact
Verb problem
interact
show examples
with the public from different ages.
For example
Linking Words
, in some events the mentor gives opportunities to
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
like led
Change preposition
to lead
show examples
 and organise
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 the student can invite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, some
students
Use synonyms
 can not find time to spend it on these things except if it has
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 benefit because they need to
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 and
gives
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money or gifts.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some of them
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 the
unacademic
Use the right word
non-academic
show examples
 activities do not matter . So , we should support
thematic
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
them to join and try
this
Linking Words
worth
Correct word choice
worthwhile
show examples
 experience.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the volunteer and unacademic activities are worth their
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 time and give them backgrounds of some things
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 how to
contact
Verb problem
interact
show examples
 with people, critical thinking and how to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems immediately

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task-fulfillment
Start with a clear view on the topic. Say if you agree or disagree in the first sentence.
coherence
Make your main ideas clear. Give 2 or 3 big points and back them with one simple example.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides and has some good ideas.
structure
There are some linking words like First of all and To sum up.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: