It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegatables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Learning to raise edible plants and

animals

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

proposed during elementary school

education

Use synonyms

. I believe that in

this

Linking Words

proposal, advantages outweigh the disadvantages,

due to

Linking Words

the significant lessons they learn about cherishing all kinds of lives and growing sympathy

Change preposition

for

show examples

others. On the one hand,

Since

Fix capitalization

since

show examples

the

dramatical

Replace the word

dramatic

show examples

boost of

pet

Correct article usage

the pet

show examples

industries

Fix the agreement mistake

industry

show examples

, global awareness of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animal welfare has been rising recently. All living things deserve the right to live freely without stress. It is

undenyable

Correct your spelling

undeniable

that at

first,

Linking Words

when

animals

Use synonyms

are exposed to

children

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who have poor knowledge and experience of taking care of them,

can

Correct pronoun usage

it can

show examples

be stressful when compared to experienced adults.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue can be prevented by teaching them how to treat the

animals

Use synonyms

beforehand, and by

also

Linking Words

by teachers supervising

children

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

they are close to the

animals

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, learning to handle

animals

Use synonyms

, especially small

animals

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

rabbits, parrots, and

hamsters

Punctuation problem

hamsters,

show examples

can teach them how to gently deal with other

creachers

Correct your spelling

creatures

Furthermore

Linking Words

, taking care of

animals

Use synonyms

and plants can

also

Linking Words

teach

children

Use synonyms

the responsibility needed to feed or water them, because

otherwise

Linking Words

it may affect their health. Learning meaningful lessons through

hands on

Use the right word

hands-on

show examples

experience in their youth,

children

Use synonyms

will grow

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of sympathy and the attitude of understanding others who can't speak

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

their

latter

Use the right word

later

show examples

life in a positive way.

For instance

Linking Words

, in one study, it is said that a kind of relaxing hormone

oxitosine

Correct your spelling

oxytocin is

secretes

Wrong verb form

secreted

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

pets

Correct subject-verb agreement

pet

show examples

fluffy

animals

Use synonyms

More over

Use the right word

Moreover

show examples

, many people grow plants as their hobby for leisure. Going through

education

Use synonyms

involved with

Wrong verb form

involving

show examples

greens and

animals

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

will learn to cope

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

stress in the future, which

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

their

well being

Use the right word

well-being

show examples

gravely

Rephrase

greatly

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, it is suggested that primary

education

Use synonyms

should include teaching lessons about raising

animals

Use synonyms

and vegetables. Considering the effects of

this

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

lasts throughout

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

life, I firmly believe that the advantages

overweigh

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

the disadvantages.

sora.coffee.love

Sep 27, 2025

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structure

Plan your essay. Give a clear intro, two body parts (one for good points, one for bad), and a short end.

structure

Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph to show the main idea.

content

Try to show both sides and say why your view is right. A balanced view helps scores.

content

Add real or clear examples or facts to back your points. If you cannot, say a general idea and lead to it.

grammar

Check spell and word choice. Fix easy errors like vegetables, undeniable, creatures, oxytocin, etc.

coherence

Use linking words so ideas flow. Also, keep to simple words and short links when needed.

grammar

Check grammar and punctuation. Use full stops. Watch capital letters and sentence length.

task response

The essay shows a clear view that advantages can be valued more.

content

There is an attempt to link care for life to a sense of empathy.

coherence

The writer tries to give reasons in support of the view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegatables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?