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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the destinations of Anthropology graduates from one university and the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years

The charts below show the destinations of Anthropology graduates from one university and the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years
The pie chart indicates the destination of Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 from one university,
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates their salaries five years after graduation. In terms of the pie chart, full-time
work
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 accounts for the highest proportion of anthropology
graduates
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, at 52%, which is over ten times as high as that of those engaged in part-time
work
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 combined with postgrad study(5%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, part-time
work
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 and
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
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 make up
in
Change preposition
apply
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15% and 12% , ranking second and third.
In addition
Linking Words
, the segment of full-time postgraduate study is 8%, which is similar to the unknown part.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the percentage of salaries of the anthropologists
in
Wrong verb form
working
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work
Use synonyms
 at $25000-49999 level makes up the smallest share across all three types of employment, with the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 of 5%, 5% and 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the $100000
dollars
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apply
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level occupies the highest proportion in freelance
consultants
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(40%) and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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sector
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(50%). In the private companies, 35% of
graduates
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 can earn $50000-74999 per year, which is the highest rate, after which 55% of
graduates
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 are able to get more than 75000
dollars
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apply
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per year.
In
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Among
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 freelance
consultants
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, there are 15% of
graduates
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 who earn $50000-74999 per year, which is similar
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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sector
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the percentage of
graduates
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 who
work
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 as freelance
consultants
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 and
government
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sector
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 can get $75000-99999, is 40% and 30%.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
graduates
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 from anthropology who get a job
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more than 72%. Meanwhile,
graduates
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 who
work
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in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 freelance
consultants
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 or
government
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sector
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 probably getting higher salaries than
work
Use synonyms
 in private companies.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work, consultants, government, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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