Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?

There is an argument about whether
governments
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should control
people
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’s
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lifestyle
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lifestyles
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or individuals should make their own choices. In my opinion,
governments
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should only provide opportunities and support,
while
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people
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themselves decide how to live. On the one hand, some
people
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think
governments
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must take control of
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lifestyle
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lifestyles
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to protect society.
For example
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, banning smoking in public places or limiting alcohol can make life healthier and safer.
Also
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,
governments
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can
organize
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organise
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campaigns about exercise, healthy food, or protecting nature. These actions can help
people
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avoid bad habits. Without
such
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rules, some citizens might make wrong choices, which could have negative results for the whole community.
On the other hand
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,
lifestyle
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is very personal, so
people
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need freedom to decide. Everyone has different preferences
:
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;
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some enjoy sports and
active
Correct article usage
an active
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life,
while
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others prefer reading or working on computers. If
governments
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try to decide everything,
people
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may feel restricted.
This
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can cause frustration or even conflict because citizens may believe their rights are limited.
In addition
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, personal freedom usually motivates
people
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more than strict rules.
To conclude
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, I believe
governments
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should not make
lifestyle
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decisions for
people
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. Their main role is to provide information, education, and facilities that help
people
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improve their lives.
However
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, the final choice should stay with each person, because only individuals know what kind of
lifestyle
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makes them satisfied and happy.

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task response
Build each main idea with more detail. Add more clear examples or facts to show why your point is true.
coherence
Use more simple and clear links to show how ideas stay in order.
grammar
Check grammar and mix sentence length to avoid long, hard trails.
structure
Clear view stated quickly in the intro and restated in the conclusion.
coherence
Good use of on the one hand / on the other hand to show both sides.
organization
Paragraphs are well made with talking points in each one.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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