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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The diagram illustrates the proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in Australia in six
age
Use synonyms
 groups who did regular physical activity in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, among the six groups of
Australian
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Australians
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, over 35% of people had a habit of exercising.
Besides
Linking Words
, only the
group
Use synonyms
 of men under 24
years
Use synonyms
 old had a higher percentage of participation in physical activity than women. The 15 to 24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of men showed a peak of
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
 rate, at 52.8%, followed by 65 and over at 46.7%. And there were 42.2%, 39.5%, 43.1%, 46.7% in the
age
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group
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 of 25-34, 35-44, 45-54, 55-64, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, women between 35 to 64
years
Use synonyms
 had a similar proportion of
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
 rate, at about 53%. And there were 47.7%, 48.9%, 47.1% in the
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
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groups
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 of 15-24, 25-34,
65
Correct word choice
and 65
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 and over
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, women over 25
years
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 old displayed a higher proportion of exercising than men over 25
years
Use synonyms
 old did.
However
Linking Words
, in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 15 to 24, 52.8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
male
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males
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 did regular physical activity compared with 47.7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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