IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some say that news has no connection with most people’s lives and it is a waste of time for most of us to read newspapers and watch television news programs. Do you agree or disagree? Find essays with the same topic

In the modern era,
ndwpapers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 and television
news
Use synonyms
 programs have
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many people. In my opinion, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people find many choices
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
show examples
 on television
news
Use synonyms
 shows man who
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 children from fire danger. Because
that
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 many companies give him jobs and
chinese
Fix capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 to be
influencer
Correct article usage
an influencer
show examples
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, Most of
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 teenagers to
open
Verb problem
be
show examples
minded
Correct word choice
open-minded
show examples
 about dangerous things.
Additionally
Linking Words
, newspapers have
powerful
Correct word choice
the power
show examples
 to change the world,
such
Linking Words
 as country
have
Verb problem
goes to
show examples
 war the humans will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
understande
Correct your spelling
understand
 and start to fight their governments.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and television
news
Use synonyms
helpful
Verb problem
are helpful
show examples
 to understand each other and have many chances to improve our world .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view clearly at the start. The writing now has no clear stance. Add one main idea and keep it as your plan for the essay. Give one or two simple examples to back this view. End with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence cohesion
Build your essay in three parts. Start with your view, say why you think this, and finish with a short closing. Use linking words like First, Then, Also, But, So. Put one idea in each sentence and keep a small number of ideas.
language use
Work on the English form. Many rules are not used well. Fix spell errors like 'newspapers', 'open-minded', and 'influencer'. Use simple grammar and short sentences. Check subject-verb and tense.
lexical resource
Choose common, easy words. Do not use hard words. Do not repeat words too much. Try to rest some ideas with small changes.
content examples
Give one or two real but simple examples that show a point. The examples should match the view you take. Do not use facts that are not true or not clear.
strength
The writer has some idea that news can affect people.
effort
The writer tries to use an example or two.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: