he diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

This

Linking Words

diagram illustrates how

sugar

Use synonyms

is produced from

sugar

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canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

by a specific process.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that there are 7 stages beginning with growing

sugar

Use synonyms

cane and ending with drying and cooling

sugar

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

canes grow for 12-18 months in farms. In the second

stage

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, they are harvested with the help of farmers and mechanical processes in the farmland.

Then

Linking Words

, they are accumulated and brought to the factories by special trucks.

Next,

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

canes are crushed to make juice. In the fourth

stage

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, juice is purified through a limestone filter and transferred to the evaporator. In

this

Linking Words

stage

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, juice becomes a syrup after getting much heat

due to

Linking Words

evaporating the water. In the following

stage

Use synonyms

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals are separated from the syrup in the centrifuge.

Finally

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

is collected in the large container to dry and cool.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is ready to be distributed among markets for consumers.

parisa.ghetmiri

Sep 27, 2025

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

152 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar cane
harvesting
manufacturing process
cleaning
sanitation
quality control
crushing
extracted juice
boiling
concentrated syrup
crystallization
sugar crystals
separation
molasses
purity
quality
food processing

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he diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.

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