IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary era, there is no doubt that technology communications are growing rapidly and people can access
numerous
Correct word choice
apply
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information
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 from other countries. Many individuals believe that
this
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 phenomenon might be damaging to societies.
This
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 essay will examine my perspectives and provide its explanation. It is evident that the rise of fake
news
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 nowadays is caused by the widespread and uncontrolled
information
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 among people. Social media algorithms lead people to compete in creating sensational
news
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 in order to go viral.
In addition
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, artificial intelligence
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also can
Correct word order
can also
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 create fake images or videos, which can deliberately spread hoaxes. To illustrate, in Indonesia, those instruments are used by presidential candidate advocates to attack opponents on election days.
As a result
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, there are many hoaxes on social media
and
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, and
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 supporters are attacking each other to defend their candidates.
On the other hand
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, rapid
information
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also
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 has benefits for communities. Digital communication platforms are currently used by authorities to publish regulations
and
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, and
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 the public will be giving their feedback.
Moreover
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, it is
also
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 used by netizens to counter the fake
news
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 that has spread widely among the public. In Indonesia, the public used
this
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 dissemination of
information
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 to
organize
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organise
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 movements as a form of criticism against arbitrary public policy made by the government. They are open
crowdfunding
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to crowdfunding
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 from the public and provide all protesters' needs during demonstrations
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such
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, such
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 as medical services, ambulances, and masks. The residents
also
Linking Words
 use
this
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 platform to counteract provocative
news
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 and distribute
news
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 updates about
this
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 protest from different countries. In conclusion,
although
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 I agree that technological communication
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as social
media
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media,
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 can lead to the spread of misinformation and damage society, it
also
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 provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantages for communities. Social networking services can be a medium for institutions to share policies or
information
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 that
require
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requires
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 a wide audience reach.
Furthermore
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, it can be used to share awareness about the importance of political policy in our daily lives. To address
misinformations
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misinformation
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, netizens should check the accuracy of the
news
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 and ensure that it is not provocative
information
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 before sharing it.

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task response
Be clear on your view at the start. A short clear sentence in the intro shows what you think.
task response
Develop each idea more. Add a longer reason and more detail for each point.
task response
Give more real, clear examples. The Indonesia example is good, add more detail.
coherence cohesion
Use simple linking words to show order and contrast (first, also, however, finally).
coherence cohesion
Keep one main idea per paragraph and make sure every sentence supports it.
language
Check grammar and word choice to make meaning clear (watch small errors and word form).
strength
You touch both sides of the issue.
strength
A real country example helps show your point.
strength
Conclusion gives a tip to stop fake news.
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