IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number ofnew shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number ofnew shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The line chart illustrates how many shops were closed and the new shops were opened in
this
Linking Words
 country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of shop
openings
Use synonyms
 was higher than
closures
Use synonyms
 only in 2011 and 2015.The
number
Use synonyms
 of
closures
Use synonyms
 fluctuated dramatically with an
extremely
Replace the word
extreme
show examples
 descend in 2015,
while
Linking Words
openings
Use synonyms
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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down
Correct word choice
downward
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 trend after the highest point in 2011. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
openings
Use synonyms
 was highest
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 8500
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 2011,
then
Linking Words
 it experienced a
collaps
Correct your spelling
collapse
 and went down to 4000 in 2012.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
closures
Use synonyms
 dropped very little during the same time. After that, the
openings
Use synonyms
 steadily climbed up and reached 6000 in
2014
Punctuation problem
2014,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the
closures
Use synonyms
 made up an unstable increase and
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 proximate to
openings
Use synonyms
 in 2014. After 2014, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
closures
Use synonyms
 witnessed the most
notably falling
Replace the word
notable fall
show examples
 and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bottom
Check wording
low
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 less than 1000.
Then
Linking Words
, it rose again and
stablized
Correct your spelling
stabilised
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
plateaued
Replace the word
plateau
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 more than 5000.At the same time , the
number
Use synonyms
 of
openings
Use synonyms
 decreased slowly and stood at 3000 in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, openings, closures with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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