IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People should only but food sourced locally. What are the advantages and disadvatages of this?

There are some
people
Use synonyms
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
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 that
people
Use synonyms
 should purchase
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
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 in their location. To
analyze
Change the spelling
analyse
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opinion,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
view
Check wording
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
should buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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food
Use synonyms
 sourced locally. One clear advantage is that when the public consumes local
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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product
Punctuation problem
product,
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 the local economy will boost at the same time. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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as
Change preposition
apply
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the population of those who consume
food
Use synonyms
 sources locally, the agriculture industry will employ the public.
As a result
Linking Words
, the public
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 received
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
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 might consume
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 factors of local products. Indeed,
After
Fix capitalization
after
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 a producer of the local products earns
plenty
Correct word choice
a large
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 amount of money and
then
Linking Words
, they will purchase another sector of products. Soon,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon causes economic
circulate
Replace the word
circulation
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a major drawback is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they cannot deal with the harsh weather and climates. The time drought or flood
emerge
Correct subject-verb agreement
emerges
show examples
, those who consume
food
Use synonyms
 sources locally will be difficult to obtain
food
Use synonyms
. As,
dominantly
Rephrase
apply
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the local agriculture is connected
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
Linking Words
, when
the
Correct article usage
a
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 disaster
comes upon
Verb problem
strikes
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at
Use the right word
a
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 specific location yet it affects the entire area.
As
Change preposition
For
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 the same reason, there is another disadvantage
in buy
Change preposition
to buying
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 local
food
Use synonyms
. It is vulnerable to infectious disease.
For example
Linking Words
, Ireland is well-known
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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great famine
Fix capitalization
Great Famine
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. Even though Ireland's famine was from diverse factors, the hazardous potato disease played
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 role in
a
Correct article usage
the
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great famine
Fix capitalization
Great Famine
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, for these factors,
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer from
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are various pros and cons about
if
Change preposition
whether
show examples
 we should buy
food
Use synonyms
 from
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 area. These
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two are both persuasive
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, I believe that
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 from various locations will help us more, as the obvious historical fact shows us.

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task response
Make your view clear in one line at the end and keep all ideas fit that view.
task response
Explain each main idea well and give plan for both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple connection words and keep order clear.
task response
There are two sides and a last view is shown.
coherence
Link words such as 'On the other hand' and 'To sum up' are used.
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