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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, there is an ongoing debate about
celebrities
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complain
Wrong verb form
complaining
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 about the way the
media
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publicizes
Change the spelling
publicises
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 their private lives. Some people argue that
this
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 should be accepted as part of their fame,
while
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 others believe it is unfair.
This
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 essay will elucidate these differing perspectives. On the one hand, there are arguments supporting the idea that
publicity
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 is part of fame.
Celebrities
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 attract public attention, and many people want to know about their
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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.
As a result
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,
media
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 coverage can actually benefit them by boosting their popularity, reputation, and income.
For instance
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, frequent appearances in magazines or
television
Change preposition
on television
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 often lead to more endorsements and professional opportunities. In
this
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 sense,
media
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 exposure can be considered an advantage for their careers.
On the other hand
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, over
intrusion
Use the right word
over-intrusion
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 of
influencer’s
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influencers’
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 private lives can be harmful. The right to privacy is a fundamental human right, and
celebrities
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 should not be treated differently. The
media
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 often exaggerates or fabricates stories, which may cause stress, anxiety, or even mental health problems.
Furthermore
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, intrusion can negatively affect the families of
celebrities
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, especially their children, who may suffer from unwanted attention. Cases of paparazzi harassment and damaging scandals demonstrate how harmful unlimited
publicity
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 can be.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach is necessary.
While
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 a certain level of
publicity
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 is natural, boundaries must be respected. Laws and ethical guidelines should protect individuals from unnecessary intrusion, and
celebrities
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 themselves can decide which parts of their lives to share with the public. In conclusion,
celebrities
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 should not be forced to accept unlimited exposure.
While
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 fame brings some
publicity
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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their personal privacy must be respected to ensure a healthier balance between public interest and individual rights.

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structure
State your position clearly in the intro and keep it in the final line.
language
Use simple words and short, clear sentences; avoid long phrases.
content
Give sharper and more exact examples to show depth.
grammar
Check small grammar and word use, like 'intrusion' and 'influencer' phrasing.
coherence
Link ideas with clear, simple transitions between paragraphs.
structure
Good overall plan with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
stance
The essay makes a clear point that personal privacy should be respected.
coherence
Use of link words to show contrast and result.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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