IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

In recent years, the issue of the growth of
technology
Use synonyms
 has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
While
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 some individuals maintain that
technology
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 brings several benefits to
people
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,
such
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 as
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more free
time
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, I contend that
technology
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 both advantages and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of these different viewpoints. On the one hand, it is essential to
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
show examples
 that individuals should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with the benefits of
technology
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. A crucial consideration is that
technology
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 helps
people
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 have more free
time
Use synonyms
 for family and children, which highlights that it helps finish household chores quickly.
For example
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, washing machines
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 women save
time
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.
In addition
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, another important point to
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
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 is
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
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 global social connectivity.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
helps
Correct pronoun usage
it helps
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 connect with business partners.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to consider the opposing viewpoint that
technology
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also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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disadvantages
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of
Change preposition
for
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people
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. A significant factor to explore is that reduced opportunities
communication
Change preposition
for communication
show examples
 between
people
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, which underscores that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 would loss of intimacy and limited connection.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to highlight that
technology
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easy
Wrong verb form
can easily
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 create
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
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 fake news.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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fake information will cause more panic among
people
Use synonyms
 and is unsafe.
Moreover
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, the development of
technology
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a generation gap because
differents
Use the right word
different
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 generations' levels of
technology
Use synonyms
 use cause disunity. In conclusion, an analysis of the differing perspectives on
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of
technology
Use synonyms
 brings many advantages and
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disadvantages
Punctuation problem
disadvantages,
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highlights
Wrong verb form
highlighting
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 the benefits of
technology
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 brings
of
Change preposition
to
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 citizens and
many
Correct article usage
the many
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disadvantages
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
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.
It is clear that
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 the advent of
technology
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 has helped
people
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 reduce a lot of work and have more free
time
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.
This
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 examination prompts individuals to thoughtfully consider their preferences and the experiences that influence their enjoyment.

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grammar
Fix big grammar errors. Use 'technology has' not 'technology have'.
organization
Make one idea in each paragraph. Use linking words to join ideas.
development
Give more full points with a clear reason and simple example for each.
relevance
Keep to the topic. Do not add extra ideas not linked to tech and time.
task completion
End with a short, clear conclusion that repeats your view.
lexical resource
Use easy words and avoid hard words beyond common use.
ideas
Clear view with both sides.
structure
Intro and ending present.
examples
Some real example like washing machines.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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