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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for
The line graph gives data on how many
people
Use synonyms
 visited the UK for three different reasons in a time period of 20 years
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 1989 to 2009
Overall
Linking Words
, these three categories experienced various trends.
While
Linking Words
 purposes
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
 business and
meetings
Punctuation problem
meetings,
show examples
 grew gradually, holidays experienced some changes. As the graph shows,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who came to the UK for holidays was just under 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 1989.
Then
Linking Words
 it increased with some fluctuations and reached 9
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in 2009. In 1989, 5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 came with business interests to the UK. After a small decline to 4
million
Use synonyms
 in 1991, it steadily grew to 8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2008. The index of communities
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 came to visit friends and relatives started with just over 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 1989.
This
Linking Words
 amount significantly climbed to 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2008, but
then
Linking Words
 the figure started to fall quickly to 6
million
Use synonyms
 during the next year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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